


An Intermittent Dictum

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe - Canon, Brothers, Gen, Parallels, Redemption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-08 21:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Takes place after the beginning of 1.12] “I’m going to look for him.”</p><p>Ah, she's going to look for Amon and she's going to leave him, at the mercy of the people, at the mercy of the Equalists that would share the big house with him when he was thrown into detention; he knew this was bound to happen yet he couldn’t shake the bitterness that bloomed in his chest. Honest to the spirits, he liked having her around now that they weren’t at each other’s necks, he liked the fact that she could turn to him for advice, that she could tell him anything—</p><p>“I want you to come with me, Tarrlok.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i

Her mind raced with the images of Tarrlok’s past as they ran towards the referee's balcony, listening to the rioters’ cries the bounced off the corridor. The brotherly bond that they shared, Yakone, the bloodbending; Korra noticed the councilman’s eyes grow distant as he recounted his childhood to them in the attic of the Air Temple. His words still rang in her mind. _“Defeat him. Put an end to this sad story.”_

They pushed open the door, hoping to catch Amon off guard during his speech, to reveal him for the fraud bloodbender that he really was. The stage remained empty and as they waited, leaning on the railing of the balcony, they watched a wave of rioters as they attempted to push through the barricades of Equalist guards.

"Where is he?" she heard Mako ask beside her. The air around them was congested and they watched in silence as the riot grew more and more restless. Mako held Korra back at the sight of the guards chi-blocking even their own people, making them flail helplessly as they fell on top of each other.

"Don't tell me he's late to his own party," Korra ground out as the remaining rioters pulled the weak nonbenders into safe platforms. The whole arena quieted as the sight of the Lieutenant and his lackeys appearing on stage. He took the microphone in his hands and spoke into it; however there was no sign of the masked man, the revolutionary, Amon.

"Our leader is missing, my brothers and sisters," he began. Behind him, one of the guards moved forward and knelt as he carried a pillow in his arms. The Lieutenant took from under the blankets their leader's porcelain mask. Korra almost couldn't contain the gasp she gave when she saw it cracked down the middle, making an unsightly line down the middle of the red sphere on the forehead. Mako beside her stiffened as the Lieutenant held the mask to the people, hearing the cries of those who sobbed at the sight of it. "We may not know where he is, but we must not stop our mission. What he wants is for us to keep going-"

"I'm grabbing the mask," Korra whispered as her mind raced, Amon missing? Something wasn't right here, a man like him wouldn't leave his whole operation behind, not when he's so close to his goal, not when he's so close to getting to her, close enough that she could feel him breathing down her neck sometimes when she slept.

She jumped off the balcony, ignoring Mako's protests and pushed through the clusters of people, forcing herself up on the stage and nicking the mask from the Lieutenant's grip. She found herself seeing his surprise from in his bright eyes before they disappeared into his rage. "Return the mask and maybe I'll think about your punishment less severely."

"No, I think I'll keep it for myself, thanks," she sneered before punching flame at him. He narrowly avoided the fire before swinging one of his sticks at her. She jumped off the stage as the crowd dispersed into a running, screaming mass of hysteria. Behind her she could hear the nimble steps of the Lieutenant and the Equalists chasing after her.

She forced chunks of the probending disks at them as she avoided their nets. Mako jumped from the balcony and joined her in the fray, sending sparks of lightning at them, shocking a few of the guards and sending them into the pool far below them. She took his hand as both of them jumped across the ring and the crumbling balcony, feeling the wind as it whipped through the fabric of the Equalist uniform.

She tightened her grip on Amon's mask as they tumbled onto the team balcony. She forced herself forward and pocketed the mask, pushing Mako along as they ran through the nets and smoke bombs that were thrown at them.

"Korra, what the hell-"

"Come on, let's get out of here. We need to get Tarrlok, tell him his brother's a no-show."

\----

She coughed and leaned against the sewer wall as she watched Mako guide the fallen councilman wearily by the arm. Tarrlok had been reluctant as they moved him out of the jail cell, but Korra assured him, or at least tried to, that they won't get caught. That was half true, as some of the Equalists left on the island were given messages that Amon was missing. Now, they found themselves walking through the sewers, returning to Gommu's coop.

Mako led the way while she fell back into step with the weary Tarrlok. Silently, she could only hope that the others were at least, safe and unharmed from their mission. The noon had already diminished into a faint glow, indicating that the day had almost come to an end. What of the biplanes that headed towards Commander Bumi’s fleet? What of Bolin, of Asami and of Iroh? She wrung her hands as they walked through the sewer.

"So my brother is missing," she heard Tarrlok muse to himself. "Strange."

"You think so too, huh?" She pulled out the cracked mask and handed it to him as they walked. He carefully turned it over in his calloused hands, delicately examining the crack as he brought it up to eye level. She continued to talk to him. "He's proved to me that he's not the sort of man to back down from a mission, not after everything he's showed us, everything that he's capable of doing."

As they ended up back in Gommu's compound, she got to work on fixing up the councilman. Mako bade her good-bye, briefly mentioning that he was going to look for the hobo who helped them out, to get a beam of Commander Bumi and to update them on the state of the city and the others.

She set a basin of water down next to his cot, and he could only stare blankly up at the roof of the underground while she got to work. He set the mask next to the basin of water while Korra took his arm and set water on it. He gave a sigh as he felt all the knots and kinks working away from his arm.

"Where do you think he'd go, Tarrlok?" she found herself asking him as she tossed the used water into the grass. She took another handful and set it on his shoulder. He really was left for dead in that cell on the island; his skin was pallid and his hands shaky as they lay across her lap. He pushed away the matted hair from his face as laid an arm on his forehead as he thought, his tired eyes flitting onto hers before closing.

“I’d not seen my brother for twenty-six years, _Korra_.” Her name was thin in his mouth and she flinched at the sound of it, at the memories that came with it when she first met him. Councilman Tarrlok was almost gone. “He would have been a total stranger to me had he not taken up this farce.”

She found herself healing him in the silence, working out the kinks in his shoulders and back, feeling the minimal amount of chi flowing through him as she did. There really was nothing left; it hadn’t been like the time Bolin was injured from that one match they had. Bolin’s chi bubbled up and down as she healed him, but Tarrlok’s – his chi was a blank page, no trace of his headstrong personality, or the powerful bending he used to fight her, even the edge of bloodbending had disappeared.

She looked up from her work at the familiar sound of paws padding through the concrete, behind her Naga had appeared, Mako walking beside her with General Iroh steering the polar bear-dog, behind him Asami laid her head on the man’s back in exhaustion and Bolin cradling Pabu behind her. While Iroh looked content, the mission seemed to be a success, Asami looked even more under than she had been before the mission, and Bolin could only rub her back to ease her.

Korra got up to meet them, letting the former councilman rest for a while. She smiled at the sight of Bolin tackling his brother in affection before helping Asami from Naga. Iroh hopped off, a spring in his step.

“We’ve intercepted the planes that headed for the Commander’s fleet, Avatar Korra,” Iroh began as he firmly shook her hand; it seemed that he was still giddy from the operation. Bolin laughed and slapped the general on the shoulder.

“You mean you intercepted the planes, sir.”

“Yes, well-” Iroh coughed, red tinting his cheeks, perhaps from the complement or the thought of the mission. Korra snorted at his display of modesty. “We’ve received word from Bumi that once they arrive we can take refuge in his fleet and plan the defeat of Amon and his revolution.”

Korra shifted uneasily and turned back to Tarrlok’s already asleep figure, she walked over and grabbed the mask that lay next to the empty water basin. Curiously, Bolin and the General looked over her shoulder, surprise colouring their faces at the sight of the sleeping councilman. She held the mask up and handed it to them. The gloom was gone from Asami’s face and instead surprise took its place. “Amon’s mask? Wait- How did you get that?”

The porcelain mask was being passed around, and Korra refrained from yelling out when Bolin tossed it around carelessly. She sighed in relief when it found itself back in her hands. She turned to the general. “When we get to Bumi’s fleet, I think we’re only going to plan for the revolution’s defeat. Even the Equalists don’t know where he’s gone, disappeared according to the Lieutenant.”

“How do you know it’s not a trick that they came up with?” Asami asked as she plucked the mask out of Korra’s grasp. She carefully weighed it in her hands before returning it to her.

“I don’t think Amon’s the type of person to be late to his own party and besides-” Mako began as they gathered around the fire that they left behind the night previous, his eyes flitted briefly at Korra, smiling at the analogy he borrowed from her. “When we infiltrated their gathering, the crowd was going mad, no one had control over anything. If anyone had control over the non-benders it would be Amon, and there was absolutely no sign of him there.”

They shifted uneasily in their sleeping bags as the underground darkened, the sun having disappeared from the sky, Korra’s eyes flickered to Tarrlok’s figure before settling down next to him, Naga following suit and serving as her giant pillow. She found the others staring at the sleeping man, their eyes ablaze with questions.

Bolin vocalized his first. “Where’d you find him?”

“Air Temple Island,” Korra answered quietly. Before they could ask any more questions, she continued talking. “He’s a special case – He’s Amon’s brother. That’s why I took him back here with Mako and me. I couldn’t just leave him, I- it wouldn’t feel right.”

“I understand,” Iroh affirmed. They quieted when Tarrlok turned over in his fit of sleep. “And like him, we’ve had a big day. We’ve got to rest because tomorrow we’re meeting the Commander at the docks at daybreak.”

Everyone turned over in their sleeping bags as they bid each other good night. Korra having been the last to fall asleep could only listen to her friends’ breaths as they slept; Bolin’s snores, Mako’s blanket rustling, Asami’s hums and the General’s senseless mumbling but as she sat against Naga, she found herself gazing worriedly at the sleeping councilman and his shaking figure.

Had it been from the cold he shook from, or was it something else? She crawled over to his cot, dragging her blanket with her and she carefully set it on top of him, as not to wake him. Relief set in her as the man ceased his shaking before she moved back into Naga’s warm embrace. She sighed as she fell asleep, yet she felt unease, the feeling of her gut telling her to finish Amon had grown uncertain, as though it knew nothing of where the man might have ended up. That night she dreamt of him. Not the leader of the revolution, but the detached older brother from Tarrlok’s tale. 


	2. ii

He woke the next morning before the sun rose, before the underground received any form of sunlight. Around him, the Avatar’s friends slept soundly in a circle around the rubble of fire and he could only watch them because even the mere act sitting up took too much out of him; the earthbender had thrown off his pillows and the fire ferret was sprawled all over his chest, his firebender brother beside him was completely obscured from view behind his mountain of blankets and the nonbender girl, her head was framed by her dark hair. Another man slept close to her, with dark hair and pale skin; he wore the torn uniform of the United Forces yet Tarrlok couldn’t recall hearing his name as the blur and muddle of the escape yesterday still clouded his mind.

 _‘Where do you think he’d go?’_ the Avatar’s voice rang in his head quietly and he forced his gaze to her sleeping form, her lithe body clustered inside the polar bear-dog’s nuzzle, her brown hair contrast against the animal’s fur. He sighed and clenched his fist, trying to feel the energy that came when he bent water, trying to feel its coolness when it danced between his fingertips; he was numb and only the thought of his brother plagued his mind. _Where do you think he’d go, Tarrlok?_

His eyes snapped back to Korra when he heard her hushed whispers muffled through her animal’s coat. He closed his eyes, dismissing them initially as incoherent mumblings as they faded into the silence. He was jolted awake as they grew louder. “Where are you, Noatak-”

She sounded afraid, she sounded as though she’d been left by a friend, _by a brother._ Tarrlok turned back over in his cot as her voice died down, and his closed his eyes again, hoping to get some more shut-eye. He could still snippets of hear her voice as he dozed off, asking where, where was Noatak, where was his brother, where was Amon? He found himself dreaming about it as the sun gradually lit the underground.

His sleep felt only like minutes when he was jostled awake by the Avatar’s light slapping on his arm. He opened his eyes to see her apologetic face, _sorry for waking you_ , they would say silently to him, and his eyes drifted to the commotion behind her, to see her friends packing supplies on the polar bear-dog as it sat patiently. The earthbender boy smoothed down its fur while the fire ferret clambered onto the dog’s head, nestling itself on it.

He found himself holding on to Korra’s arm as they walked towards the group, each of them giving him looks that spat apprehension (the firebender boy) to pity (the uniformed man); he would have none of it and he turned to Korra instead, watching her as she boarded the polar bear-dog.

“May I ask what’s going on?” he forced out weakly, his throat parched and dry. Korra held out a hand for him to take as he found himself sitting behind her, the dog rising beneath them. Before he could answer, Tarrlok found himself sandwiched between Korra and the earthbender, Bolin. He was stiff and uncomfortable behind them, and Tarrlok frowned imagining both of them awkwardly holding on to each other as they moved away from the group. He heard the nonbender girl’s good-bye to them as they disappeared in the tunnel.

“We’re meeting them at a rendezvous point at the docks,” Korra began as her pet began running through the sewer tunnel, and Tarrlok cussed mentally as his arms curled around her waist in a vice-like grip, he was starting to feel nauseous and Bolin’s uncomfortable musings behind him did nothing to help. Soon, and Tarrlok was glad, that they found the end of the tunnel that faced Air Temple Island; the sun remained low behind the band of dark clouds, trying to push its way through the grey. Korra turned back to them with a warning. “Ready for a swim, boys?”

“Born ready, Korra-” Bolin began behind him.

Tarrlok didn’t get to answer and his clenched his eyes shut as the dog jumped into the cold, cold sea, but as quickly as the water drenched his tattered robes, it disappeared from them. He sighed as he opened his eyes, seeing the Avatar bend the water from them, her sinewy arms rippling subtly as she bent the water from her pet’s head as it swam through the depths of the bay. The water was dark around them, and the air cold as the dog continued to swiftly paddle its way towards the docks. He watched large hulls jutted through the water above their heads, chains of anchors dangling dangerously close to them.

They emerged drenched from the water, the ringing in his ears was deafening as the sounds of soldiers and soldiers bustled on the runways of the docks, wearing the same United Forces uniform that the man they left behind wore, and he watched the soldiers bending barriers of rock around the runways, for safety, for refuge. He leaned his head lightly against the broad of Korra’s back, the nausea making its way back into his gut.

The dog was padding its way around the soldiers and Tarrlok only knew that they were being led somewhere when he heard a familiar voice greet Korra in concern. He looked up as Korra jumped off the dog and into Councilman Tenzin’s arms, behind him Bolin had already got off and was close to giving the airbender a hug as well.

“Thank the spirits, you two are alright-” Tenzin halted halfway at the pathetic sight of him trying to support himself of the polar bear-dog. His hair was limp as it hung wet and plastered on his face and he found it hard to hold Tenzin’s gaze. Was it apprehensive, pitying? Tarrlok never found out because immediately he was taken off the dog, his fatigue clouding his mind. He heard Tenzin’s afterthought chasing after him as he was put on a stretcher. “Get this man a bed, some water and food, he’s requires it!”

Tarrlok only knew of what went on outside during the rest of the day when Korra came around to finish what she’d started, healing him and helping recover his scattered chi, but there wasn’t much avail to it. Instead, she talked to him while placing her watered hands on his back, telling him of how the United Forces led by Commander Bumi easily overthrew the weak hold the Equalists had on the city, and he listened as she told him of how she fought the Lieutenant, subjugated him personally, seeing in his mind the man’s faltering form, at a loss without his leader; and he listened at how unsettled she was, the fight she waited for with Amon delayed only for the spirits’ ears.

He closed his eyes at the feeling of the water dancing on his skin but he could sense her frustration as she worked, even as the water eased the knots his body’s sustained in the past few days her healing provided flat results; his bending was still lost. She cleared her throat and rose from his bed, forcing the water back into a flask she’d brought along. He sat up and grabbed one of the folded shirts that had been provided for him while she headed for the door uncertainly. She gave him one last glance, to which he responded in quiet gratitude, inclining his head at her. She left him with one last thought to think about. “Sleep well. Tenzin wants to see you tomorrow.”

He didn’t sleep well, in fact, he couldn’t sleep at all. It had been hours when she left him, and the loud thrum of the ship’s engine from somewhere nearby had quieted, and he could just imagine the fleet quieting down into their rooms as the moon rose. He was exhausted, yes but his mind was abuzz with thoughts, as if a barrier that held them all back these past few days had broken down.

What would Tenzin say to him? Would he be scorned, condemned of what he’s done or would he be treated like an invalid? He scowled as he lay on the bed, looking up at the rivets and screws on the ceiling, having counted them more times than necessary. He knew he was a criminal, half the city’s population was completely aware of it. They might as well decide to lock him up and give him a life sentence; there wouldn’t be any other way to atone for what he’s done, to the people, to Korra.

Korra.

 _“Still think I’m a half-baked Avatar?”_  After what he’d done to her, to her friends, how was it that she considers him an ally, how was it that she would still go out of her way to heal him when there were other healers around, to make sure that he was alright? Tarrlok sighed and stood up, heading for the door as he slipped on a light jacket, another one of the Forces’ provisions for him.

He was glad that he easily made his way to the deck. Though poorly lit in the foggy moonlight, he could still see her in the middle of it all. With Naga crouched around her, the Avatar sat in the centre of the deck, arms lax and her back straight as she breathed evenly. He retreated, feeling as though he’d intruded on something private, on something beyond his own comprehension and yet the floor creaked underneath him, forcing the polar bear-dog’s gaze on him.

Korra broke off from her peaceful trance, forcing her eyes on him as he emerged from the dark of the stairwell. He walked over to her, his feet padding lightly on the metal before taking a seat across her. He bowed his head. “Forgive me for interrupting you.”

Unsure for a moment, Korra only gave him a curious stare before waving his apology off. “It’s all right.”

Silence.  Tarrlok looked around, towards the sea, the clouded night sky, the darkened city, the moon. Had he still possessed his bending, he would feel its power, he would feel everything, the sea ebbing underneath the ship, the mist that hung low over the water, _the blood pumping through the veins of the Avatar_ ; now he only felt numb, as if he was breathing smoke. He was only aware that he’d his fists clenching on his lap when he saw Korra’s uncomfortable stare. She cleared her throat and lied back down against her polar bear dog. “Can’t sleep?”

“Yes.” More silence, though it wasn’t awkward, merely a comfort, and no trace of the tension in the past was between them. “Am I right to assume that you can’t sleep either?”

She snorted. “No, I just woke up. I would’ve stayed in my room to meditate but I didn’t want to bother the girls and Asami.”

“Meditate.”

“What?” her indignant look amused him, yet he hid the grin that began to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“You meditate?”

“It was Tenzin’s idea.”

“Of course.”

He found himself lying down against the floor of the deck, looking up at the dark sky, trying to discern the stars behind the clouds. Korra’s voice jolted him. “I had a vision.”

 _A vision._ “Amon?”

“He was running from something.”

Tarrlok tried to imagine the head of the revolution running, tried even to imagine Noatak running from something. Noatak as a child did not flee, so why would Amon, they were no different merely the mask was the difference. Korra read the disbelief on his face but before he could dismiss her claim, that it merely had been a dream, because Amon didn’t run–

“He looks a lot like you,” she mumbled as she brought her knees to her chest, settling her face behind her arms. “It was like seeing you, but not really – there’s something different about him but I knew he was your brother straight off.”

“Different?”

“He didn’t have that sleazy, politician’s smile that you wore-” he scowled as she chuckled behind her arm. “In all seriousness, you both have that look about you, the past.”

He looked up, trying to follow the clouds that drifted by before snapping his attention back to her. “Did you see where he was? What he was running from?”

She curled up further, her fists clutching onto the fabric of her pants. Her eyes betrayed frustration and shame as they flicked to him before looking away. “No, I didn’t.”

He closed his eyes, and though disappointment bloomed in his chest, he put it away. It wasn’t her fault that she wasn’t attuned to the spiritual side of the whole Avatar business, everyone had been different, and all that mattered was that they were treated fairly. Tarrlok shook his head free of the thought, hearing young Noatak and Amon’s voice ordaining things in his mind. He felt Korra prodding him on the arm and he cracked open an eyelid to look at her.

“You should probably go back to bed in your room,” she began. “I don’t think Tenzin and Bumi are going to make much sense of why ex-councilman Tarrlok was asleep on the deck of the ship.”

“Yes, of course.” He stood up and dusted himself off, letting his sleep-encrusted body move on its own volition towards the stairwell. Before he went down, he turned back to see her, cracking the best _sleazy_ , politician’s smile he could muster, making Korra unsettled as she stared at him. “Am I still to meet Tenzin tomorrow?”

“Yeah, suit up too. I think he misses the bickering you two have all the time.”  He laughed before disappearing from the moon’s light. “Sleep well, Tarrlok.”

“You too, Avatar Korra.”


	3. iii

He left his room, bathed, cleaned and dressed in a water tribe noble’s clothing that was so kindly left at the desk next to his bed. He eyed himself wearily at the mirror, staring at the lines that seemed to appear from the past few days’ events, and he stared intently at what his eyes had become, the windows that showed what he’s been subjected to. He scowled and splashed the water on his face instead, combing his hair out and finishing with suiting up, as Korra had told him.

 _‘He looks a lot like you,’_ her voice started in the back of his mind and he found himself looking back into the mirror. He imagined what Amon had looked like behind the mask with his face to shape it from, and he held his face to the side, his fingers darting to his cheek bones and his jaw, tracing it as he tried to see what his brother had become. He finished up, a stare reflecting back at him as he held his hair up, in an attempt to shorten its appearance as how Amon would see fit. He shook his head when he found his eyes taking that cold, distant look to them as Noatak had when he was young.

He left the room and emerged on the deck where the sun had shown and beat its light down on to the metal floor panels. His squinted eyes followed where Korra had waved, seeing off a flying bison that carried the airbending children and her friends. Beside her, Tenzin conversed with a scruffy yet formidable looking soldier, _Commander Bumi_ , and he noticed the exasperation in the monk’s expression, his hands, his voice.

Deciding to make himself known, Tarrlok moved from the shade of the main cabin and approached them, his head and stance confident and his grin in that sly smile that Korra noted the night previous. He refrained from chuckling at Tenzin’s obvious disquieted reaction to seeing him as though Amon had never taken his bending away; why should losing his bending mean that he lost the air that he’s worked so hard to attain, why should losing it mean that his silver tongue would also be lost to him?

“Councilman Tenzin, Commander Bumi,” he inclined his head at the two men respectively before turning to Korra and bowing his head at her. She gave him a mere grin before turning to the two older men who stood weary across him. He continued, “Avatar Korra mentioned that you wish to have a word with me.”

“Yes,” Tenzin began as they walked over to the side of the ship that overlooked Aang Memorial Island and the Air Temples. If he squinted he’d even see the sky bison drifting over to it but instead he held Tenzin’s gaze, feeling the Commander’s judging stare weigh down on him as well. Korra remained well away, her lips pursed in curiosity as she listened to them. “We’ve decided on how you’re to serve you sentence for what you’ve done to the city-”

“But right now we have bigger problems than you,” Bumi cut in, pointing a finger at him accusingly, a frenzied look in his eyes, yet in that moment of contradiction, seeing Tenzin’s uneasy calm and the Commander’s raving air about him he realized; _brothers, of course._ Bumi continued to speak, inciting his authority each step he took as he prowled around Tarrlok. “And while you’re in a load of trouble, none of us are equipped with the time to handle something as insignificant as your case right now -- no offense.”

“None taken.” _A lot taken._ He bit back his tongue.

“So instead we’re offering you a solution-” Tenzin began.

“We’re not offering you a solution, we’re forcing you to take it,” Bumi cut off as he clamped his hand on Tarrlok’s shoulder. Still unsure what to make of the commander he merely nodded. Even he failed to find it amusing when Tenzin scowled uncomfortably at his brother’s antics. He caught Korra’s eyes as she stared at them uncertainly. “You don’t have a choice, I’m afraid.”

“What would this solution be?” he asked as the commander’s hand left his shoulder, instead the man moved to grab Korra and push her towards him. A flash of indignation crossed her face before disappearing as she looked at him carefully. Tarrlok turned back to the airbender as the man cleared his throat.

“You’re on parole, Tarrlok,” Tenzin declared, the weight and authority of being the last councilman forcing its way in his tone. “-and Korra’s your probation officer.”

He snorted and caught Korra’s uncertain glance. “It could be worse.”

Being on parole was a euphemism, Tarrlok discovered later in the day. It was a euphemism for something he’d never even dreamt of doing in his adult life; _not after what his father had hammered into his mind:_ babysitting the Avatar. However, as Korra put it, he was to be a sort of advisor to her as they patrolled the city accompanying Tenzin and Bumi, seeing the occasional Chief Saikhan and Lin Bei-Fong when they moved into the police station, and watching the radical Equalists eye him with poison as he walked past their cells.

Earlier, he had laughed at the notion of him being her advisor, not when they had been at each other’s necks after the rise of the revolution. It had seemed so long ago, when his mind drifted back to it. Now, he walked behind the Avatar, remembering the seriousness that amassed on her face as he laughed at the idea of him being the one she would listen to for advice, for when she would be inevitably lose her temper. He stilled before bowing his head gratefully as he acknowledged her request.

Soon, they found themselves looking into an interrogation room with the Lieutenant sitting with his balled fists cuffed to the table. Though his head remained bowed when Saikhan entered the room, Tarrlok could sense the bitterness that encased the man like a shell. He listened as he closed his eyes, choosing instead to imagine what thoughts went the man’s mind as Saikhan shot questions at him. ‘ _What do you have to say for yourself now that Amon has fled? You will be sentenced to a life behind bars, you understand? The whole movement has to answer to you now and you’ve failed it.’_

The silence that stretched into the room bore into the others, to Korra, to Tenzin, to the chief and the commander. It wasn’t until an officer popped his head in to inform Tenzin and Bumi that the ambassadors were waiting for them. Tarrlok looked up and his eyes darted to the commander and his brother as they approached the door.

“Ambassadors?” he found himself asking as he glanced at the airbender, seeing him move towards the doorway.

“Nonbender ambassadors. They claim to speak for the nonbenders, though not strictly Equalists.” Tenzin’s eyes darted to where Korra sat, leaning against a desk that faced that window to the Lieutenant’s room, patiently waiting for her as he slipped his hands in his pockets.

“I’m staying here, Tenzin,” he heard Korra say as she hid her face behind her arms, her eyes still trained on the Lieutenant, Saikhan having left, shaking his head at the man’s lost case. Tenzin hesitated before she continued her train of thought. “We’ll meet you at Air Temple Island later, alright?”

“What are you planning?” he asked when Tenzin had left them. Korra had taken to pacing around the room restlessly, impatiently with her eyes trained on the Lieutenant as if he were prey. She glanced at him and held his gaze, questioning her with a piercing stare. She merely looked away and waved for Saikhan to grant her passage to the interrogation room.

Tarrlok narrowed his eyes, watching her intently as she stepped inside the interrogation room. She gestured for them, for Saikhan to take the cuffs off his wrists and the chief hesitantly complied and as his bounds disappeared into the metal desk, the Lieutenant rubbed his wrists where marks were made. He seemed not to acknowledge Korra as she took the seat across him, pursing his lips as she tried to figure out what to do, what to say to him. Tarrlok snorted, remembering all too well her tendency to act before thinking.

“Do you know where _he_ is, Lieutenant?” she began as she crossed her arms over her chest. He stirred and looked up at her. Distaste coated a sneer that formed on his mouth but otherwise he remained silent, taking instead to glaring at her. Tarrlok watched as his fists balled up to the point where his knuckles shown white, before they disappeared into the man’s pockets. She shuffled uncomfortably before snaring, instead returning the glare that the man gave her. Tarrlok rubbed at his face exasperatedly; _they weren’t going to get anywhere with a staring contest._

“I know you hear rumours he left you and the revolution for dead-” she halted as he barred his teeth at her, unadulterated rage pooling in his bright eyes; Saikhan begun to raise his arms to placate him before Tarrlok moved to stay his hand, sharing a look with the chief, _no, she’s getting somewhere, leave her._ “But I don’t think he’d do that and I know you don’t either-”

 _“What do you know?”_ the Lieutenant hissed as he held his arms back down to his sides, his whole form shaking with rage. “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU WOULD POSSIBLY KNOW ANYTHING?!”

 _“I know everything,_ ” she begun as she stood up, her air suddenly wise, sophisticated and ethereal. Tarrlok froze, feeling the chief stiffen beside him as they watched genuine surprise pass over the Lieutenant’s eyes. Korra looked down at him, and the air gaining pressure around them before dispersing as she exhaled, pity emanating through her instead. “And I know nothing. Lieutenant, please just answer me one question.”

She made her way towards the door before glancing back at him, seeing his whole system deflated as he held his head down, his hands wringing itself on the table.

“Do you know where he would be?”

“No. No, I don’t.”

Tarrlok found himself staring at the man in pity, watching the anguish take over him as he forced his face behind his hands. Korra returned to the room, giving Saikhan a nod of farewell before leading him out of the police station, her tremble subtle but enough for him to notice.

“Amon was more than just a leader to him,” he heard say as they made their way to where her polar bear-dog had been hitched. Images of the Lieutenant as a hapless nonbender, oppressed and tormented flooded his mind, of the man fighting back and getting beat up in the process, bruises colouring his skin. He saw Noatak- no, Amon helping him, saving him, giving him purpose. Amon certainly was more than just a leader to him, _Amon had been his life._

“Come on, Naga. If we’re lucky Tenzin might still be at city hall.”

\----

The embassy had already ended when they had arrived, needless to say Tenzin had a conflicted expression on his face that Tarrlok had yet to see in his days of being a councilman (and criminal). His mouth remained clamped shut as they boarded the ferry to Air Temple Island, listening to Tenzin’s recollection of the embassy, of how three very different nonbenders either stepped up or were nominated to speak for the whole population. From what he had pieced together there had been an ex-Equalist named Wei who had brought up that although his past had been suspicious, he claimed to have left the movement before all of Tarrlok’s service of questionable vigilante justice had even been thought of, that he only joined because it brought in the prospect of being able to defend himself, the main reason why there had been a large fluctuation in members who joined the ranks to begin with.

The second ambassador to speak was Lady Estra of the Northern Plateau district, having been coerced by her factory’s workers, both benders and nonbenders to speak for them, to tell the council that she understood the plight and that she could serve as a mediator for both parties. True to the fact, when she had stepped up to speak, apparently her workers cheered for her tirelessly.

The last to speak had been a young diplomat called Bai, who placed himself forward because he had claimed to understand the history of the conflict, saying that he’d immersed themselves with all people from all walks of life in an attempt to understand why there had been clashes between the two groups: bender and nonbender. Tarrlok hid a snicker behind his hand at the mention of how the diplomat even waved his PhD in Sociology around for Tenzin to read through.

The councilman was stumped, trying to decide which one of them would best represent the nonbenders, and over dinner where the dining was reasonably full with the airbending kids gathered around their parents, Korra’s companions as they sat around her, and he who sat at the end of the dining table furthest from everyone, Korra being his only bridge to the seaweed noodles; Tenzin forced himself the question that Korra gave a simple answer to, somehow Tarrlok found himself impressed at her crafty response.

“Well, they sound like they do represent all the nonbenders, don’t you think, Asami?” Korra turned to the heir of the Future Industries Corporation, and Tarrlok could see her thinking about a deliberate answer as she ate her salad.

“Yeah, but that Professor Bai sounds a bit-” she trailed off but she gave a nod that reinforced her answer.

“Have them work together, Tenzin. If the city needs anything right now, it needs unity and people who are willing to help acquire it,” she finished, a little bit restlessly, Tarrlok noticed. She abruptly excused herself, leaving him to the mercy of the stares of everyone at the table. Tenzin eyed him suspiciously as she took a sip from his cup, _what happened at the station, Tarrlok?_.

He rose from the dining table, nodding his head gratefully before taking his empty dishes with him to the kitchen sink, feeling everyone’s eyes on him as he moved. Korra took his dishes from him shakily, washing it down before stalking off, mumbling something about showing him to his room so that he’d have a place to sleep.

“Good night, Tarrlok.” He could see the fidgeting her hands showed as she pointed out the bathroom, the toilet, the others’ rooms on the way. Something after the incident at the station caused her sudden curt manner, surely. He flinched as she banged the door closed, and he found himself listening to her heavy footfalls as they disappeared from his ears.

“What on earth just happened?”


	4. iv

_She watched as he ran, his face though not unlike Tarrlok’s was caked with dirt and dust, and looked wearier. She saw now where he ran as swiftly as he could without tripping over the undergrowth and mud and marshes that surrounded him. He shot a glance over his shoulder, hissing as he pulled the water from the marsh for him to glide on, for him to distance himself as much as he could to whatever pursued him. It was different seeing him vulnerable and desperate to make his escape compared to the stable, exalted leader of the revolution and the façade he put up with the mask._

_A low hiss seemed to have come from all directions forcing Amon’s eyes to dart madly about him as he skated over the swampy water. His eyes drifted to the canopy of vines that hung low, to the expanse of mangroves that twisted around him and disappeared into the misty darkness. Not even the moonlight could penetrate through the leaves over his head and Amon halted his skating abruptly, as shame clouded his face at the realization of what he’d just done to escape, he had bent. His fists clenched as he grasped at his arms, almost attempting to tear at it._

_“Good, son of Yakone. Use your power-” His head snapped up to the sight of a giant serpent rearing its three-eyed head at him, its fangs sharp and milky white—_

Korra woke with a start, a half cry erupting from her throat while she felt the sweat coat a thin film on her forehead. She threw off her covers, startling Naga who raised her head in concern, a whimper coming from her clamped mouth. Korra ruffled the fur on her head and nuzzled her face into the warmth. She rose from her bed, the dog rising to follow her.

“Come on, Naga. Let’s go for a walk.”

\----

Tarrlok woke to the sound of fire crackling outside his window, coming in swift blasts before exploding into the silence. He lifted himself out of bed groggily and shuffled to the window, pushing it open to reveal Korra in the open field under his window, punching flames through the air in frustration. The polar bear-dog was well away from her, hiding behind her fur-lined paws as she watched the Avatar punch the air in worry.

He moved to grab his jacket before slipping out of the window, sliding quietly against the shingled roof and dropping down into the dirt behind her. Naga glanced up at the sight of him, but his eyes remained only on Korra’s back, seeing her back ripple smoothly as she punched, her focus as if to set the sky on fire itself. Yet Tarrlok could see the frustration that shook her shoulders and fists and he could see the crestfallen expression on her face, as though she’s read an unfulfilling book. He frowned and cleared his throat, for her to glance, no, glare at him.

“What do you want, Tarrlok?”she snapped and he was reminded of the time when they fought at City Hall, the night he bloodbent her, kidnapped her, threatened to take her hostage – he shook his head free of the memory, it felt like a lifetime ago and instead he eyed her, her unstable stance and the way her chest heaved when she breathed. She glared. “Well?”

“Something is troubling you,” he stated simply as though it were a fact. She scoffed and waved him away dismissively. His frowned deepened and he berating her as a teacher would towards a wayward student. “I have obligated myself to you, Avatar Korra. The least you can do is to tell me what bothers you instead of snapping at me especially since I’m stuck with you and your insufferable—”

He halted, hearing the bitterness in his own voice and seeing the hurt that briefly clouded her eyes, seeing himself as a child in response to Noatak’s coldness. He sighed, rubbing at his temple. “Just tell me what troubles you. You’ve been acting strange ever since we left the station.”

“Amon.” She settled onto the ground and he sat across her, watching as she brought her knees up to her chest, “The Lieutenant doesn’t even know where he is.”

He looked away, focusing his gaze instead at the moon, anything to keep him from staring at her face that betrayed defeat. Was her disappointment from the fact that Amon- that Noatak might already be dead or did she still crave that showdown that he had promised her? Even when she had already been made aware of the fact that she wouldn’t stand a chance against his bloodbending, she couldn’t even fight Tarrlok’s when he still had it and the spirits know how much more control Noatak had as a child. She continued to speak now that he’d sat in front of her to listen. “I mean, I’ve seen where he was, vaguely but I don’t know how I’m going to get there-”

“Have you?” He snapped his gaze back to her, suddenly putting her on the spot as she froze under his scrutiny. He exhaled and softened his gaze, bringing his hands up easily. “My apologies. Can you describe where he was? Perhaps I can help.”

“It was a swamp,” she answered as he picked at the grass they sat on. “A sort of muddy marsh and he was trying to run from something. I couldn’t see much—”

Tarrlok looked up, the look filling his eyes making her confused as attempted to communicate his thoughts mentally.  “Has anyone told you of Avatar Aang’s journey while he was still mastering the four elements?”

“Has anyone told me?” she scoffed. “Someone’s told me, all right. But it wasn’t just anyone, it was Sifu Katara—”

“Has she told you anything of a swamp?” he tried patiently, remembering the tales that his father’s told them, of who he actually was, of how the art of bloodbending specific to their family was made illegal by _a Katara_. Immediately, she understood what he referred to and the realization dawned on her face.

“The swamp where Aang received visions of Toph Bei Fong being his earthbending teacher,” she answered, her mouth trailing off to where her mind took her. She looked up at him, the frustration completely gone from her face, in its place was budding determination. “You think he’s at _the_ swamp?”

“I’m willing to bet.” A poignant pause drifted between them. Her determined look simmered down to something gentler, and a smile of gratitude brightened her face.

“Thank you, Tarrlok.”He noticed something else belying her tone. Before he could look further into it, she dropped her gaze and instead looked out into the moonlit bay. “Sorry for waking you.”

He chuckled. “It’s becoming a common occurrence, you waking me up, Korra.”

She punched him lightly on the arm but otherwise remained silent. He sighed, slowly finding himself dozing off until her voice made its way to him. “How are you holding up, Tarrlok?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean-” she hesitated and he watched, somewhat amused as her half-formed thoughts made their way into incoherent mumblings that came out of her mouth. Exasperatedly, she sighed and gestured instead with her hands. _Oh. That._

“I haven’t been in need to use bending these past few days,” he began to say, unsure of what his point was. Korra watched him carefully, and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes, as if she was afraid that she had raised a delicate matter, which was true, of course. He missed his bending, and he felt somewhat hollow without it, he felt numb every time he was somewhere next to the sea, or when he sat under the moon, such as now. But there’s not much he can do about it, and he was definitely sure that she had no idea how to restore what had been lost either. “I think I’m coping fairly well, I think I’ve begun to understand what the half the people of the city feel.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all she could say to him. The night remained uncomfortably quiet, and Tarrlok wished to be rid of it, he wanted that easy and pleasant silence they shared a few nights ago, he wanted not to feel her pity projecting onto him, not to see the thoughts that ran through her mind, about how she could get his bending back, how she could help him after everything’s that happened.

He didn’t want her pity; he didn’t want anyone’s pity but did he want his bending back? He was a criminal, and once the city gets back on its feet, he’d be thrown into a jail cell to rot for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t be able to bend much water if that had been the case. He would not see the light of day, he would not hear how the city would progress, he would not hear any word about what had happened to Amon and he would not hear from her. He scowled.

He wanted to tell her to just leave it. Instead he stood up and looked back at his window, trying to think of a way to climb back up to it as his eyes darted to the raised bricks of the air temple, and some of the sturdier gutters that he could get a hold of.

“Good night, Avatar Korra,” he bid her coldly before running towards the brick wall, his hands and feet catching the bricks with ease as he pulled himself up on the roof. He could feel her eyes following him as moved back to his windows and closed the shutters.

\----

It had during the middle of the day when Lin Bei Fong arrived on the island with her fallen troops to tell them, Korra mainly, to attend a large council meeting to inaugurate all three of the nonbender ambassadors from the days previous. He noted that like he, Lin had refused to fall to the belief that without bending, one would not survive. She waved off the glances of pity that the other metalbender policemen had given her, taking instead to snapping at them as though she was still in-charge. Even Saikhan had fallen back in line under her, though he was the chief. She understood that pity was something unnecessary to them, even more so when she glared at him as he gave her that smile he was notable for. Needless to say, his respect for her grew that day.

They made their way to City Hall, it had been modestly repaired, yet some of the walls remained bare without paint to match them to the windows and roof but he could hear everything that the spectators mumbled about him, about his crimes, about his sentence, about his past now that it had been revealed, and about his bending, or lack thereof. It was only when he walked behind Korra that he realised that he was the talk of the whole city, for all the wrong reasons. He kept his head held high, yet he felt like a lion-leopard put on show. His fists clenched as he heard the catcalls that surrounded him, but instead he focused on Korra’s back and the calm way she moved, it placated him.

The inauguration moved smoothly, and while Councilwoman Estra and Councilman Bai had the support of their respective groups (it seemed the city didn’t have an issue with working together) now-Councilman Wei had been subjected to scorn, from both benders and nonbenders, and Tarrlok could even see the distaste on the peoples’ faces as they listened to his speech.

 _Coward_ , they would call him; the only problem lying with the whole event was Wei’s induction into the council. Had he still been a councilman, Tarrlok would’ve questioned Tenzin’s decision to put Wei as a front-runner, would have questioned Tenzin’s decision to even have multiple candidates inaugurated, but no, he was a criminal, and he had no right to even speak of it because now he finally begun to understand.

Korra stirred beside him. “I’ll tell Tenzin about the visions when we get back to the island.”

He nodded understandably, though he had no clue if the airbender was even aware of what Korra dreamt of. She continued to pass hushed whispers to him. “I’m going to look for him.”

Ah, she's going to look for him and she's going to leave  _him_ , at the mercy of the people, at the mercy of the Equalists that would share the big house with him when he was thrown into detention; he knew this was bound to happen yet he couldn’t shake the bitterness that bloomed in his chest. Honest to the spirits, he liked having her around now that they weren’t at each other’s necks, he liked the fact that she could turn to him for advice, that she could tell him anything—

“I want you to come with me, Tarrlok.” He froze and glanced back to see her face determined, like she was when asking him to be her advisor. Before he could respond however, Tenzin’s voice loudly made its way to them and the whole crowd.

“Thank you, Councilman Wei. Now, I speak to you all, people of Republic City. We are one step closer to getting our home back on its feet-” Tenzin gestured to the new council member behind him before returning to the microphone. “We will listen, these men and women who sit beside me will help understand and make everything better for you-”

A mass of whispers amassed the crowd and all Tarrlok could hear was, ‘where is Amon?’ and ‘he wouldn’t be gone yet, surely?’ They were silenced when Korra’s friend, the nonbender heir of Sato’s company stepped up to the microphone. Korra and her friends were stunned, and he could see that Tenzin was too.

“I believe that chi-blocking _should_ be made legal, at least,” she began, determined to make her point, her father’s trait for words clearly showing in her. “And I can explain why this is, if you would let me, Councilman Tenzin.”

He hesitated before nodding in understanding, the new council members leaned forward, Bai and Estra pursing their lips in curiosity while Wei watched wearily. “Then speak up, Miss Sato.”

“Gladly.” Tarrlok glanced back at Korra, expecting to see doubt, rage even but instead, her surprise swelled into pride. _Well, this is an interesting turn of events._

 

 

 


	5. v

One of the moments that stood out to him after the inauguration was Sato’s spontaneous debate to legalize chi-blocking as a form of self-defense. He would have argued against it if he still held his position in the council, would have even had the girl thrown into jail but now he understood. He was one of them now, a nonbender, and he knew that basic waterbending forms would be virtually useless if he would be attacked. She had also brought up the suggestion of having the skilled Equalists who didn’t even want to take part in the attack on the city could instead be given the chance to do community service through helping and teaching those nonbenders who weren’t affiliated with the revolution in the first place.

Her argument made perfect sense. Wei had agreed to it immediately before Tenzin could even bring a hammer down to announce a recess, resulting in a disgruntled Tenzin as he and the new councilmembers moved to his office to vote on it, leaving them all sitting in the front row, subjected to the congregation’s mumblings and whispers that grew in volume. He was ignored now, and all eyes fell on Sato, cameras and reporters’ microphones along with it. Chief Saikhan took the initiative and led them all into the offices away from the crowd in silence, while Lin had taken to swatting away the reporters with some of the metalbenders as if they were flies with cameras.

Once the initial shock of the girl suddenly getting up to debate wore off, Korra was the first to speak up and she sounded surprisingly happy. “That was awesome, Asami.”

“Thanks, Korra. I’ve been thinking on it the past few days, I was just glad I got the chance to talk about it and tell the council.” Asami smiled, taking Korra in an embrace, burying her face into Korra’s shoulder. “It’s not really evil either, I mean not everyone’s privileged enough to learn martial arts and not all the Equalists wanted to be part of the siege of the city so I guess this is a win-win for everyone.”

“Yeah!” Bolin caught the two girls in his arms and Tarrlok made sure not to get caught in the fire, taking instead to sitting on an empty desk to close his eyes, choosing instead to listen to them. “I mean, when did you even think of bringing that up? I’m all for it, hell, I’d even like to learn it. It’d be useful—”

“But you’ve still got your bending, Bo,” Mako began, his voice betraying how clearly troubled he was at his brother’s opinion. “If anything, you’d be the one to get chi-blocked-”

“I think I’d like to know more than just ragtag style earthbending though,” Bolin answered. “I mean, I was even hoping Chief Bei Fong had the chance to teach me metalbending-”

Tarrlok opened his eyes to the sound new footsteps marching in and he flinched, seeing the fiery United Forces commander as he barrelled into the office, seemingly scooping the teenagers into his arms in one go. While Korra, the earthbender boy and Sato looked delighted to see him, Mako just seemed plain sour. Behind them, General Iroh followed and walked into the room, catching Bolin and Asami as they snagged him in a hug. Were teenagers usually this affectionate? Tarrlok had to wonder, considering his childhood hadn’t reaped anything of note.

He tried really hard to blend into furniture as he listened to Iroh and Bumi’s recollection of hearing the inauguration on the radio on their way to City Hall, of how surprised and impressed they had been when Asami’s voice found its way to their speakers. Just when he thought he’d turned into a coat hanger, Bumi’s eyes landed on him and he found himself slapping his forehead when the commander pulled him by the shoulders to join the group; now he understood Tenzin’s constant exasperation with the man.

However, before Bumi could ask him anything even remotely mortifying, Saikhan motioned for them to return to their seats, now with the soldiers and the metalbender police helping them back. Korra tried to fit herself comfortably against him as Bumi and Iroh added to their row, but he could still see the determination she had as she waited for his answer when he glanced down at her. Tenzin’s voice snapped him back to reality.

“We’ve decided on how we’re going to take Miss Sato’s suggestion for us, as her debate proved sensible,” he began, silencing the crowd and the reporters around them. “And our decision is unanimous. We are going to grant her request, and chi-blocking will be available for those who wish to learn it. We do not have the right to castigate those who wish to defend themselves and those who wish to expand their knowledge on this supposed hidden art. However, those members of the Equalist movement who wish to help the rest of the city will be subjected to further interrogation before they take part in this initiative. This court is adjourned.”

\----

The next few days turned out to be a blur to Tarrlok, mostly his thoughts on accepting Korra’s plan to leave the city and venture to the Earth Kingdom to find Amon had preoccupied him. If he stayed, well, he knew well enough what would happen if he stayed. If he joined her, she basically would have granted him an escape to the city permanently, a chance to be a fugitive and to start all over again, perhaps in Ba Sing Se or Omashu, somewhere he’d be invisible—

He cringed at the thought, remembering his father, what he had done, what he had ordained Noatak and him to become; if he escaped on the journey from Korra, he would have been doing exactly what his father did. Did he want to escape though? He wasn’t completely sure.

As it had turned out, it wasn’t only Bolin and Asami who wanted to learn chi-blocking, Korra, Lin Bei Fong and her fallen troops decided to take upon themselves to learn it as well, escorting about three of the ex-Equalists to Air Temple Island to train them.

But even though Korra found herself preoccupied with learning something new and useful, she still waited for his answer, and she began to get impatient for it. She would snap at him, call him out even when they’d had been in her friends’ presence but he held his silence. Why would she want him to join her, what was in it for him, aside for a chance to escape? He knew he didn’t want to leave, but prison was a depressing alternative.

The only reprieve he would get from her gradually volatile behaviour was when she and her friends would train in chi-blocking. He was included, of course; he was included whether he had a say in it or not, being on parole and all. She was his sentinel in the simplest way possible. Now he stood across the firebender boy, who looked as unwilling to take part in it as he watched both Korra and Asami trade jabs under the ex-Equalist instructor’s supervision. The girls looked focused and Korra’s frustration for him had disappeared, hidden under that furrow in her brow she wore as she listened to the hesitant instructor. Tarrlok narrowed his eyes and gave Mako a slap upside his head that pulled him out of his trance as he watched Korra and Asami.

Swiftly Mako retaliated with a punch, a half-hearted one that made no connection to him as he retreated, moving as he would’ve had he still had his bending. The firebender boy glared at him, huffing in surprise as he held his hands forward. Tarrlok merely scoffed. “Pay attention, will you? Or are you preoccupied with watching your girlfriends give more of their passion to each other than they would with you-”

Mako snarled, charging forward at him his fists aflame. He swerved easily, feeling adrenaline gather in him as he forced a few swift jabs to the teenager’s left shoulder. Though he took no pride in bloodbending, in feeling their victims dance as he willed them to, he felt the corners of his mouth tug at this act of wordplay. He felt strangely satisfied to see the boy attempting to punch at him with flame, only to feel numb. Chi-blocking wasn’t that different from waterbending, Tarrlok realised; both involved smooth, fluid movements that he could easily put in place of each other. He continued to bait Mako in whispers. “Have you decided who you’re going to skip off into the sunset with, or do you like seeing them play against each other-”

“Shut up-”  the teen huffed, forcing a kick of flame at him that he fell back on the ground to. Tarrlok hissed as he sent more quick hits to Mako’s legs, swiftly rolling out of the way as the teen buckled into the dirt. Immediately, he felt the ground rise around him, encasing his legs as he stood over Mako and his murderous scowl. He looked around, seeing Bolin lowering his arms as he eyed the two of them wearily. He flinched as Korra’s irritated voice found its way to him.

“TARRLOK!” the ground shifted underneath him and soon he found himself staring down at Korra, her eyes blazing, and her fists shaking at her sides. Behind her, the Bolin and Asami rolled Mako over, cautiously as the firebender’s eyes still glared at him with murder. He shifted his focus back to Korra and her lips in half-snarl as she jabbed her finger into his chest. “I know the exercise today was to disable your sparring partner but what the hell was this?!”

“He wasn’t being very cooperative,” he reasoned, his voice bare, Mako hissed behind them. “Is there any chance I could get a new partner?”

He found himself being pushed roughly into Bolin before Korra stalked off to help Asami with Mako. The instructor slid into his view with a thumbs-up, impressed at his moves before moving to assist some of Bei Fong’s troops. He turned to Bolin, feeling himself being probed by the man’s bright green eyes. Korra’s voice yelled through to them as they disappeared into the air temple. “KICK HIS ASS FOR ME, BOLIN!”

The earthbender cracked a smile after a bit. “I gotta admit, you’re better at this that I thought.”

He blinked, confused at Bolin’s flattery. He coughed. “I assume you’ve been close enough to have heard what I told your brother?”

“Yeah, well, I think I’d have nudged him a bit hard if he was distracted like that,” Bolin mused, before pursing his lips. “But I wouldn’t have provoked him like you did. I think he got burnt a bit by that.”

“It’s what I do.” His answer was unsure, had it really been the proper thing to say to Bolin, just after what he did, what he said to Mako? His control over his mouth’s been lost to him the past few days, and now that he thought about it, what he’d said to Mako was unacceptable, no matter how clearly distracted the man had been, no matter how restless _he’d_ become.

“Sure. Just don’t do it to me.” Bolin took a stance, gesturing for Tarrlok to hold his own, to cooperate. They traded blows, swift and quick, and the earthbender slipped out more words to him in between punches. “It woke- him up- though. I think- he needed that, hey wait-”

Bolin held his hands up, and Tarrlok lowered his as they both collapsed to the ground, exhaling in exhaustion though he was glad for the change in sparring partners, Bolin was definitely more cooperative than his older brother. _Brother._ Tarrlok hid his scowl behind his arms as he turned to Bolin, seeing himself as a child, before Noatak had fled, before he’d turn into the revolutionary, and his saw Noatak in Mako too, merely the act of watching over Bolin resurfaced old memories, the way his brother had protected him from his father’s poisonous words and-

“So what was he like?” _What was Amon like, what was Noatak like?_ He blinked, holding Bolin’s genuinely curious stare. He could tell that the earthbender had tried to prod and poke the information about this out of Korra and Mako, to no avail, the way he pursed his lips thoughtfully and the way his fingers tapped on his knees. “You don’t have to answer that, by the way-”

“He was like your brother,” he found himself saying. “And I was like you before my father decided to hone us for what we have turned out to be.”

He could see the shock passing through Bolin’s face as he connected the analogies. A revolutionary mastermind and a lying scumbag of a politician, both close to crushing the Avatar just like their father wanted. His lips thinned to line, their father had almost succeeded. What Bolin had said jolted him out of his musings. “Everyone around here seems to have terrible dads.”

_What?_ “Excuse me?”

__

“I mean-” Bolin sighed, exasperatedly gesturing with his hands. “You and Amon had Yakone the crime boss as a father, that must’ve been horrible, and Asami’s dad’s gone insane with revenge. I just hope it doesn’t come full circle on her, she’s too good for him and you and Amon didn’t deserve that, whatever he did to you-”

“It’s in the past, I’d prefer to live in the present now.” Silence. Instead, they brought their gaze to Bei Fong’s troops, watching them ease into the art of chi-blocking as Tarrlok and the rest of them had, though they had removed the metalbender armor from themselves, they took to wearing something a bit more appropriate, a mix of the Equalists light mission clothes and the metalbending pauldrons and chest guards. Tarrlok could just see them as a new branch of the law, assisting Saikhan under Bei Fong’s command, perhaps the most potent embodiment of pluralism he’s seen during his time in the city.

“You still care about him, don’t you?” Bolin turned back to him and for a moment he found himself talking to his younger self, much younger than when Noatak had left, when they still fought over penguin sledding.

“Yes. Yes, I do,” he admitted, his voice hollow. When he stood to retreat back to his room, he could’ve sworn Bolin had a smile on his face watching him go.

That night over dinner, he was particular to speaking or saying something of note while Tenzin ate, as he sat by Korra who still refused to acknowledge him, he stood up and gathered some of that sleazy politician air about him and cleared his throat. His eyes encompassed them all, from Bolin and Asami’s uncertain stare as they chewed their food, to Mako’s still-murderous glare, Tenzin’s apprehension and the children’s curiosity, but he spoke only to Korra. “I accept your proposal, Avatar Korra. I shall accompany you to search for Amon in the marshes of the Earth Kingdom.”

And as he expected, Tenzin sputtered violently. The teenagers’ eyes darted from him to Korra, who for some reason seemed not rattled by his acceptance but instead content. She really wasn’t mad after all, she just wanted his answer; that was, until Tenzin took a swig of water to clear his throat to seethe at them impatiently. “Korra, Tarrlok, a word, if I may?”

“I forgot to tell him about the visions,” she told him as they followed the airbender out of the kitchen. He looked behind him to see the airbender kids and the teenagers crowd around the doorway to see them off. Something bubbled from his throat, a light chuckle.

“Clearly.”


	6. vi

The mirth was gone from Korra as they walked to the councilman’s office, and for the first time in years, Tarrlok remembered vividly what it had been like to be subjected to his father’s destructive words that ate at him like acid even as his brother protected him. He was sure that Tenzin was nothing like his father as he saw the gleeful airbender children run around the island, especially the loud one that insisted on calling him ‘Ponytail Man’. As they entered the office, Tenzin swept around and shut the doors with a wave of his arm. He half expected the airbender would throw a chair at him, but instead they all sat stiffly across each other, Korra’s determination simmering down to guilt as Tenzin eyed her wearily.  


“What is going on, Korra?” Tenzin inquired, his voice taut with poorly hidden frustration. Somehow among other things that began to make sense to him, Tarrlok understood the reason for Tenzin’s resentment, for he was and still is Korra’s mentor, for he was almost her father in a sense; the choice not to tell him what really was going on and to turn instead to a former enemy for advice would surely sting. Tarrlok brought his gaze to floor, not wanting to watch this inevitable argument. “Why haven’t you told me anything? Why is Tarrlok going with you to the Earth Kingdom?”  


“I haven’t told you anything because you’ve been so busy with making sure the city’s all right, Tenzin!” Her voice was a sound of a child’s with an absent father, something Tarrlok had to flinch at when he heard her fist give a heavy thump on the councilman’s desk. “I DIDN’T WANT TO DISTRACT YOU FROM THAT-”  


“You are the Avatar, Korra. Nothing is more important than you-”  


“I’M HALF BAKED-” Tarrlok gave an agitated breath at the sound of the remark, a remark that he himself personally made all those weeks ago, during the raids, when he still had an amount of control that would choke the city, when he threw her friends in jail--“I can’t airbend, my spirituality sucks and I can’t do anything about people like Tarrlok, Lin and Tahno. Aang would’ve known what to do-”  


“Korra, please, listen to yourself-” His gaze snapped up to the sound of Korra standing up so forcibly that her chair toppled backwards. Her body was crouched, and he saw the enraged look in her eyes, the same type from when she’d almost crushed him in between those two slabs of rock had her friends not interfered. She began pacing ditches into the floor, Tenzin’s placated hand lowering itself back onto the table as he watched her in pity.  


“No, you listen, Tenzin!” Her fists shook at her sides. “If you’re going to tell me to meditate on these visions of Amon then I’ve already done them and they’ve shown me where he is and what’s been happening to him. I can get to him, I can  help , I can get him out of the danger he’s in-”  


“Amon’s in danger?” She froze at the question, as if taken by a hold similar to bloodbending and he and Tenzin could only watch as she picked her chair and set it right again, before taking a seat while her fists clenched and wrung themselves on her lap. Tenzin’s exasperation simmered down to something more genuine, worry, fear even. “Please tell me, tell us what you’ve seen, Korra.”  


And they listened as she recounted her visions to Tenzin and to him. Tarrlok knew of the fleeing man, and the images that his mind conjured from her words; his dirt-caked face, the fear in his eyes as he glided on the swampy water, how he would tear at his arms when he slowed in an attempt to keep him from bending any further before running again from whatever had chased him. These things he had already taken to heart and to mind having heard them before.  


Then she mentioned a serpent, a three-eyed serpent that chased the leader of the revolution through the swamp. She relayed how the snake was stark white against the dark of the swamp, like a ghost that slithered past the trees as it chased Amon. She continued to relay how he would even try and bloodbend the snake but to no avail. How his brother’s remarkable ability to control any living being had failed him as he fled for his life was unknown to Tarrlok but still he listened and he watched. He spotted the fear in her eyes as she spoke, as if her fear was not only for herself but for Amon as well; he noted the way her knuckles turned to white as she told the story of the man and the snake.  


“I think it was a spirit that chased him,” Korra mumbled, her voice almost inaudible and her form clearly shaken. This was thin ice they had trod on, and Korra was almost submerged in it. He wanted to get up from his seat and calm her, perhaps rub circles in her back like his mother or brother used to when he woke from nightmares as a child but instead he was rooted to his chair.  


Instead he spoke, serious as though he was in court. “A spirit chasing him for claiming that they had given him the power to take peoples’ bending, a blatant lie, clearly.”   


“So a spirit decides to go after him for spreading his lies?” Tenzin questioned him like he’d still been on the council, like nothing had happened.  


“I see no other reason for it.”  


“But I thought spirits were peaceful,” Korra started, biting her lip as her eyes darted between the two men. The floor creaked underneath them and Tarrlok found himself staring at the cracks in the wood.  


“Do you remember your lessons in the compound years ago, Korra?” Tenzin asked patiently, and Tarrlok glanced back at Korra, seeing the scowl that formed on her face as a clear sign that she has; but a compound? Tarrlok knew little of her history before she arrived at the city, but it seemed that there hadn’t been any news of the Avatar moving around the world to learn how to master the elements as far as he could remember.  No wonder she’d been so naive.  “Do you remember Avatar Kuruk’s history?”  


“I-” She halted, and Tarrlok too tried to recall what had happened with the past Avatar. Though his father had kept him and his brother from learning about the goodness and the righteousness of Avatar, it didn’t stop their mother from telling them the stories at night, of how Kyoshi had overthrown Chin the Conqueror, and of Roku’s disappearance that ushered the beginning of the Hundred Year War. What stuck to him however had been Kuruk’s, for the tale of how Ummi, his lover’s face had been taken by the Face-Stealer, Koh for his arrogance during his time as the Avatar. Tarrlok recalled the glimpses of the nightmares he had as a child, seeing the Face-Stealer chase him with his father’s face, seeing his brother unharmed for that cold expression he always wore-  


Korra silently got up from her chair and made her way to the balcony behind Tenzin’s desk. Before any of them could say anything, she forced the door shut, cutting her and the skyline outside off from their view. Tenzin gave a sigh before turning his stare back to him, it was devoid of the apprehension from when they first entered the study, instead the concern of a parent took its place.  


He spoke a response to the airbender’s inquiring gaze. “I wanted to turn her down the first time she asked me a few days ago, Tenzin.”  


“Then why didn’t you?” the other man asked, crossing his hands on the desk mechanically. Tarrlok held the man’s gaze as his mind went back to the talk he and Bolin had in the morning, to how the earthbender reminded him of his younger self,  back in the good old days.  


“He’s my brother.”  


The subtle inclination Tenzin’s head made showed him that he understood.  


They waited for Korra, seeing her silhouette as she paced along the balcony, holding herself against it, hearing her heaved sighs while she held her face in her hands. The floor gave another weary creak, but although Tenzin seemed not to notice, Tarrlok forced his eyes to the closed door of the study, where the noise came from. Before he could investigate, Korra slid open the door and settled herself back in her seat, her eyes now full of determination.  


“I need to do this, Tenzin,” Korra began, her feet stepping lightly on the floor as she spoke. “You said that as the Avatar, I should bring balance to the world. Looking for Amon won’t just bring balance to the world, it’ll bring balance to people like Lin, Tarrlok and Tahno. It’ll bring balance to me. He might even know how to reverse it.”  


Tenzin watched her for a moment before sighing as he stood up. “Korra, as your mentor I can only give my utmost support and hope that you know what you’re doing-”  


Tarrlok watched sadly as Korra barrelled into Tenzin, her arms wrapping around the airbender tightly, the man’s bright robes balling up in her fists. Tenzin looked down at her before rubbing circles on her back as he held her. Instead, he held himself as he gazed at them, remembering the scarce moments he and Noatak had shared that didn’t involve the cold look in his brother’s eyes. He missed those he realised, as he felt an ache rise up in his chest.  


“And if you believe that Tarrlok coming along with you is what feels right then I have to support that as well-” Tenzin begun to say but a loud creak coming from the doorway cut him off,  someone else was here, listening to them. Annoyed, Tarrlok got up and threw the door open, scowling when he saw the firebender boy hissing at Bolin for making too much noise from their poorly hidden spot behind the potted plants, Asami on the other side of the corridor, biting her lip as she glanced between him and the brothers. While Bolin gulped and made his way to Asami, apologizing for eavesdropping, that it was Mako’s idea, so that they could leave, the said firebender looked into the room, seeing Korra and Tenzin looking at them in confusion. He brought his eyes back to Tarrlok, holding it as a challenge. “We’re coming with you, Korra.”  


It took every inch of Tarrlok’s patience not to permanently disable the insufferable firebender with everything he’s learnt from the chi-blocking instructor. Instead, he stepped aside and let the teenagers into the room, but while Mako gladly strode into the room, taking Korra’s hands in his, Bolin and Asami hesitantly walked in, Bolin eying Tarrlok knowingly, _sorry about him_.  


“How much of that have you heard?” Tarrlok asked them, his voice neutral.   


“Everything.” Mako silenced the excuses that Asami and Bolin began to say. While Bolin sighed and rubbed the back of his head, Tarrlok could see that Mako had tested the Sato girl’s patience as well, judging by the taut fabric of her gloved hand. Korra’s eyes drifted worryingly over them, and he could see the gears in her head as she deliberated,  to bring her friends or not to bring her friends?  


“Guys, I-” she inhaled before taking Asami and Bolin’s hands in hers. “I have to do this-”  


Asami grasped her hand, her eyes tender. “You don’t have to do it alone. Remember? The good old days?”  


_The good old days_ , when Tarrlok’s task force was choking the city and Team Avatar had dished out their out brand of vigilante justice, how could he forget? Somehow, it didn’t pain him to remember because it seemed that both groups had the city’s well being in mind, albeit his was much more remorseless. He fell back, leaning against the doorway as he listened to them trying to convince her why she’d let them join.  


“C’mon, Korra, we kicked those Equalists’ asses together, won’t catching Amon be the perfect thing?”  


“I can’t let you go alone with this-”

  
“This could be the last thing we do together. We all eventually have to pick up where we left off since the city’s getting better.” Asami’s quiet voice was clear over the two brothers’ but she trailed off, finding Korra gazing at her, glass-eyed. Tarrlok felt shame as he watched them hold each other in a large embrace, Bolin even going as close to reaching for Tenzin who stayed away. He made his leave, trying to catch Korra’s eye but her face was buried in Asami’s shoulder.   


His bed sounded like a good idea at the moment.  


He never found out what Korra’s response was to her friends’ wanting to join her, instead he tossed and turned on the bed, his hair tickling his ears as he stared at the blank ceiling. While the soft blankets and pillows provided him the comfort that he was grateful for,  yet the sleep he sought didn’t come to him. He only listened as the Air Temple quieted down, implying that the acolytes and the other members of the household had retired for the night. He glanced at his door when he heard careful footsteps treading on the corridor outside. A silhouette, Korra’s silhouette stood outside, and he could tell that she was deciding whether to knock or to leave him be.  


“Come in, Avatar. I’m well awake,” he whispered, sitting up as Korra slid the door a fraction open. She shut the door while carefully cradling a blanket in her arm. He gestured for her to take a seat on one of the seats beside his bed before giving her an inquiring stare,  what brings you here?  


“You left.” She held the bundle of blankets out to him and he loosened the bindings to reveal Amon’s cracked mask underneath. “Are you all right?”  


“Just peachy,” Her pout looked doubtful and he sighed, he knew that she would poke and prod him just to get the truth out of him.  


“What’s wrong, Tarrlok?” He remained silent and for once, he saw the patience in her eyes, she looked older as she watched him crumple the blankets on his lap.  


“I’m sorry for everything that’s happened,” he found himself saying as he turned the mask over, feeling the chipped edges as his fingers traced them. He raised his eyes and held her soft gaze, and for a moment, he saw Noatak, before everything; he saw his brother in her and everything about her reminded of him, the hair, the way her eyes bore into him. He felt the ache in his chest grow and he looked away, sighing.  


“Don’t apologize. I’m sorry for everything too.” She reached over and took his hand in hers, though it was small, it was hardened with callouses, a fighter’s hands. He glanced back at her. “If anything, I should be asking for your forgiveness, I’ve done so much more to you than you have to me.”  


_I would’ve killed you if you didn’t bloodbend_ , her eyes had said. They remained silent, but Tarrlok didn’t remove his hand from her grasp, it was a comfort, and if he was being honest with himself, it was needed.  Korra cocked her head at him, before genuine curiosity showed in her eyes. “What did he look like? How do you remember him?”

  
His lips thinned to a line but he remained silent when she gestured for her to seat herself before him. He set the cracked mask on the bedside table and pulled a comb out instead, holding it out to her with a slight flourish. “Do I have your permission?”   


When she nodded, he smoothly took all of her hairbands out on set them on the duvet and took to running the comb through her hair as gently as he remembered his mother do to him all those years ago. She relaxed from it, and she gave a sigh, with a tinge of homesickness perhaps as he tried to tie her hair the way Noatak had his. Completely neat save for those two tufts of each side of his head, and as he brushed and combed through, he remembered the efficient way his brother would put his hair up, and how those two particular clumps would always find their way out of order.  


He got up to grab a mirror to show her, but even he himself refrained from gasping at how much of his brother he’d made her look, and he thought their initial meeting was bad. She took it and pouted as she stared at herself in the mirror, fiddling with the free tufts of hair he left out. “It’s a bit different from my hair but it’s kind of the same too, huh?”  


“I see so much of him in you.”  


She remained silent as she moved from his bed, letting him ease back into it as she pocketed her remaining hair ties. She bowed to him gratefully, before making her way to the door, telling him to wake early because they were to discuss with Tenzin, Bei Fong and the Forces a way to get all of them to the marshes as easily as possible, of how he should keep the mask for their journey. Tarrlok found himself unsettled as he talked to her, as though he was talking to his brother’s younger self when she spoke to him.  


Before she moved out the door, he slipped out a his gratitude. “Thank you for this, Korra.”  


The smile she answered him with was nothing compared to Noatak’s and for that he was also grateful. That night he found himself sleeping soundly, dreaming of the good old days with his brother while Korra watched them from afar.  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. vii

The last he’d remember before they had left the city on General Iroh’s ship had been Tenzin’s look as Korra hugged him good-bye, and the sheer amount of supplication in them, a look that was only meant for him alone, though he failed to understand why.

_Protect her._

He gave a subtle nod before turning back to the ship, climbing on to the ramp as he followed Korra and her pet. As the ship set sail, he fell back, choosing instead to watch her and her friends profusely wave at the airbender children, Commander Bumi and to Bei Fong and some of her troops that Bolin had already befriended.

They were given ten days to complete the search, and while the young general insisted on escorting them to and from the marshes, Korra asserted that only they were to look for the revolutionary, _strictly_ no help from the United Forces. Iroh claimed that he trusted and respected the Avatar’s judgment as his grandfather had many years ago but also because it was the least he could do after she saved him from the sea.

“Alone in the wilderness,” as Mako put while taking a bit out of his meal on the first night on the ship. They ate with Iroh’s soldiers and reassembled crew members and in his mind, as he half-listened to Bolin’s recollection of _‘chi-blocking this one guy in town by accident’_ , he could imagine Noatak, not Amon and his satisfaction at seeing them; benders, nonbenders, the Avatar, a fallen councilman, the general of the United Forces, two probending athletes and an heiress dining on a nice meal of fish, salad and bread, all equal. He downed a glass of water before excusing himself from the table, avoiding Korra’s heavy gaze that fell on him when he made his way to the deck.

As much as it would relax him to believe that Korra would be the only one to acknowledge him during the journey, Bolin proved him wrong, as though that day he disabled the firebender was the beginning of their strange friendship. Tarrlok couldn’t say if he was relieved with the development or not considering what happened between them in the past.

“Hey,” the earthbender’s voice came from behind, soft against the waves that barraged the ship’s hull. Tarrlok gave a nod but otherwise kept his eyes on the water below them, involuntarily clenching his fists at the numbness as he stared into the sea’s depths. Bolin leant on the railing beside him and turned to the crescent of the moon above their heads. “What’s up, Ponytail Man?”

He smiled. “And here I thought labels would stop when we left the island.”

“What, the ponytails are cool though-” Bolin gestured to his chestnut locks before letting his hand on his own coiffed hair. “Hey, I’d wear them if my hair grew that long.”

“Ah, then you’d have to wait a while to even get it past your shoulder,” Tarrlok replied, bringing a hand to his chin as he inspected the earthbender’s hair from where he stood. “I believe it’s different with everyone but then you aren’t here to ask for advice on how to have perfect hair, are you?”

Bolin laughed. “No, no. Just wanted to check up on you, was all.”

“Taking over for the Avatar?”

“Just for tonight, I mean, she needs to sort out things with Mako-” Bolin halted, waving a finger at him accusingly. “Has she been telling you any of these things? Mako problems, me problems, Asami problems?”

“It’s been strictly business between her and me,” he began to answer, but as his mind lingered on it, what did he mean exactly by it? Stories of his past, the hair-combing, apologies for their mistakes, all while she had that look in her eyes that he still, with all his ability of reading people effortlessly, couldn’t decipher. _Strictly business, all right._ “And what good would it do her to get advice on her relationships from someone such as myself?”

“I dunno. Maybe some outside perspective would be good?” Bolin shrugged. “Maybe some of your snark would help her out, or make her laugh at least.”

“I’ll take note of that.” It was silent, only the sound of the ship’s deep creaking filling the gaps in between. Bolin beside him had taken to sitting against the railing, rubbing his chin in contemplation, and he knew that a question was soon to follow that pursing his lips made.

“Do you think we’ll find him?” For the first time in a long while, he has no words, answers, no cracks. Did he believe that they would actually find Amon in the wilderness? No, as far as he was concerned, it would be a pointless mission to take part in. If they did find him, he wouldn’t be surprised if the serpent had already gotten to the revolutionary. The man’s death would not affect him, not when he had already accepted Noatak’s ‘death’ in that snowstorm many, many years ago.

Who was he fooling?  “I hope we do.”

Bolin smiled and settled a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and now Tarrlok found himself admitting that yes, Bolin’s company was very much appreciated no matter how strange their circumstance had been.

Though sharing a room with him and his brother was something he could live without. Tarrlok scowled as he stared at the riveted ceiling, attempting to block out the earthbender’s snores and Mako’s constant blanket rustling. Huffing, he rose from his bed, eying the brothers in exasperation before heading for the doorway, hoping to get some air on the deck above.

As he expected, Korra had been there, sitting with her legs crossed and her face scrunched up in concentration. He waited for her to move, to yawn and rub her eyes before making his way over but when she didn’t, he remained hidden in the shadows. Her shoulders were set, and her whole body, relaxed, almost asleep even. She didn’t stir even when he walked up to her, even when he settled himself in his usual spot, across her. He chuckled when a soft snore came from her. While the notion of her falling asleep during meditation amused him, when she drooped and fell, giving a distressed sort of noise in her sleep, he began to worry.

As he watched Korra shake in her restless dream, he tried to recall what his mother, even what Noatak did to comfort him when he had nightmares. His mother sang to him as she cradled him in her lap when he was little, while he was halfway through dreaming and waking, when he knew that Noatak watched him no matter how detached he'd grown.

Tarrlok moved over to her and gingerly held her against him, cradling her as best he could without waking her. While he didn't sing to her as his mother did to him all those years ago, he chose instead rub circles on her back slowly, gently.

Her breathing eased and she stilled at his hand, before rousing to look up at him, her eyes still glazed over from sleep. There was a moment of surprise in them, perhaps to finding herself in his arms, perhaps to the whole intimacy of their situation and he immediately untangled himself from her when a frown graced her lips.

An apology passed from his mouth. “I’m sorry. I merely should have left you alone-”

“Tarrlok-” Korra hastily began but he continued over her.

“-but I remember the nightmares I used to have, and I remember how calming it was to have someone comfort me.”

A pause hovered over them before Korra’s sigh shattered it. “Yeah, yeah. Tenzin told me it that it was okay to be afraid.”

“You are the Avatar,” he began moving his hair from his eyes. He watched her face as he spoke, and he could see the change in them, her uncertainty changing to indignation as she anticipated a sort of hidden insult from him. He shook his head at her. “You are the Avatar, but you are also human. There is nothing weak about being scared, I’ve learnt that now.”

Taken aback by his admittance, Korra could only stare at him, some of the sleep still clouding her eyes. Then she looked away, turning instead of the moon. “You’ve been learning a lot of things ever since Amon took your bending.”

“It changes a man.”

“Do you want it back?” She turned back to him, her eyes determined. “If I could learn how to energybend, somehow like Aang did, do you want me to give yours back?”

He clenched his fists and scowled; he could live without it, yes but he also missed it a lot, he missed being able to feel the sea on times like this when he was close to it, close enough to breathe the scent of the ocean spray; he missed being able to play water in his hands when he was alone in his office-

He missed being able to sense at least other peoples’ bodies through bloodbending, but not the act itself. It gave him a scope on everyone and it was vital as a politician. But he was no less than a speck dirt now, a criminal. Did he _really_ want it back?

“That remains to be seen, Korra,” he answered her firmly. “Do _you_ think I want it back? Do I seem desperate to get it back as the others have been?”

It was visible on her face as she recounted what she’d already seen. The triads, their opponents in the Probending finals- those who had grown desperate just to get their bending back. Though he and Bei Fong remained strong, angry perhaps, but it was though nothing had happened. He would admit that he was still that _charming, enthralling man_ and he knew that Bei Fong was still steadfast with her mission to safeguard the city, perhaps even more determined actually.

Korra eyed him a moment before sighing. “I don’t think so. You’ve actually been pretty calm about it-”

“Because I’ve accepted it. Because I’ve realised that bending isn’t everything.”

She looked alarmed, and he understood why but her expression simmered down to exhaustion, something so human. “We need to find him as soon as we can, Tarrlok. Zhenli She won’t hesitate to kill him if we keep putting this off.”

Zhenli She, _the truth snake._

“Yes, Avatar Korra.”

\---

They docked on the swamp in the morning, early and before he could even catch Korra, she had gone off with her friends and the general to get mounts for them to ride on in the swamp, because the polar bear-dog seemed unable stand to being ridden by five people for a whole mission.

She knew that he wouldn’t even bother escaping even when he was free to do so, he was tethered to her. Instead, he wandered about the swampbenders’ settlement, a humble town on stilts that stood over the murky waters of the river. He ended up fingering the points of a narwhal horn spear from a weapons and fishing supplies business, remembering in his mind how before the waterbending, his father would teach them the ways of hunting.

 _Kill it quickly, boys. Don’t make it suffer_ , if only he knew how much of a lie that was when they stood over a fresh carcass of an impaled buffalo-yak, the scent of freshly spilt blood fighting its way to him. He honestly believed that his father was nothing more than a skilled hunter back then. _And don’t waste what you’ve hunted, it’s disrespectful to the animal._

With the minimal amount of yuans he possessed, he bought the narwhal horn spear and a machete, one that felt right in his hands as he held it, weighing it before sliding it into a holster on his back. If he couldn’t bend, he was going to hunt. It was as simple as that. He was better at it than Noatak was anyway. Not that it mattered.

He smile grew wide at the surprise on Korra and her friends’ faces. Behind them, the polar bear-dog seemed to have already acquainted herself with her travelling companions, three ostrich horses stood with sacks of supplies on their sides, nudging muzzles with the Avatar’s pet.

“There are only three of them,” he stated, pointing to the animals with the blunt end of his spear. Bolin shrugged and mounted one of them while his brother gave him a disapproving glare.

“Yeah, well, you’re riding with me, since I’m your parole officer,” Korra answered impatiently as she eyed the spear braced on his back.

“What’s with the spear?” Asami asked, as she climbed the other ostrich-horse and straightening out the ruffled feathers on its head. Mako’s disapproving glare moved on to him as they waited for his response.

“We’re going on a mission in the swamp, you cannot expect to have food served to us on a platter, can you?” Asami’s face melded into a blank mask at his response but he only noticed the finger that the firebender pointed at him.

“How do we know you’re not going to kill us with them in our sleep?” Mako hissed. Korra bit her lip and moved between them, her hands stiff as she attempted to assuage them, although she too waited for his answer.

She was too trusting, he realized. But then again, she was the reason why he was here and not in some high security prison like the Boiling Rock. He found her eyes and stared at them for a moment, seeing the doubt in the shade of blue that he had been so familiar with as a child.

“What good would it do me to harm the one person who cares?”

The doubt vanished from her eyes and she gave him a smile, small but meant only for him.

\---

They moved quickly and set to leave after they’ve had lunch on Korra’s insistence. Now, he watched as the teenagers snagged the young general in a hug, which, after all the time he had to understand everything, the act of hugs he still couldn’t comprehend.

While General Iroh straightened out his blazer, the others mounted their ostrich-horses and Tarrlok refrained from laughing when Mako’s gave an indignant squawk as he mounted it. The general turned to them, his face now full of concern.

“If you encounter trouble or anything, send a flare and we’ll get to you as swiftly as we possibly could.”

“We’ll be okay, Iroh,” Korra answered with a reassuring smile as she climbed atop Naga. “But thank you. We’ll see you in a couple of days.”

“Take care of yourselves.”

\---

When the sound of Bolin’s stomach growling reached his ears, overpowering even the sound of crickets skating on the swamp surface and the croaks that the hippo-toads gave out, Tarrlok figured that they needed to set up camp. Korra returned Amon’s mask to him, as she’d been using it for Naga to track his brother down with, scowling at the patches of sky that darkened over their heads.

“I’m off to find some rare game for us,” he whispered to her when Mako and Asami hitched their ostrich-horses to a large, gnarled root while Bolin forced an elevation of land that they could camp on from the murky water.

“Take Naga,” there was a twinge underlying her voice, curiosity. “I mean, she’s good at that stuff-”

“What about you?” he asked, handing her his sheathed machete. She gave it a look, like the look of a child seeing rain or snow for the first time.

“Me? I can’t, I have to, you know, do waterbending things around here…” She trailed off as she pushed the machete away, gesturing instead to the muddy plateau that Bolin had raised. He nudged her with the handle of the blade, chuckling as he watched the water from the earth that she bent tremble by his hand.

“You mean to tell me that Avatar Korra has never gone hunting before?”

“I have half the mind to send you flying with a water whip, Tarrlok.” She was clearly seething, and while his normal course of action would be to provoke her even further, he found himself pitying her. Growing up, even with Yakone as a father, the whole Water Tribe culture was centered on survival; he was taught how to hold a spear even before waterbending, and so were his brother and other children in his village.

If his father wasn’t being severe with his bending, then his aptitude with skinning an animal would pay the price. Yet to see Korra, perhaps the most undiluted person from his home tribe that he’s ever known, and her inexperience to something so second nature: it perplexed him to say the least.

“Come with me. It’s high time you learn if you’ve never had the chance.”

“What? No, Tarrlok-”

“You’re to blame if I escape, you understand?”

He kept himself from smiling in triumph at glare she gave him.

“Stupid, sleazy, politician’s reasoning.”

\---

As it turned out, Korra’s father was the esteemed Tonraq from the Northern Water Tribe, migrated south once he met Korra’s mother. Tarrlok still could not believe what she had missed out on; learning everything her father could’ve taught her had the White Lotus not taken her to that inhumane compound.

But even after her initial inexperience with it, he had nothing to teach her.

It had been when they were crouched behind a large root, eyeing a nest of eaglehawk-lizards when Tarrlok heard his father’s voice.

_“Look at you, trying to be friends with the enemy, you coward. What a disgrace.”_

His eyes snapped up to a branch to see his father’s figure lounging easily on it, his face contorted in disgust. He looked away, feeling the fear pool in his gut. He turned back to see Korra take his spear and throw it efficiently at the largest lizard, watching as she vaulted over the root to subdue the animal effortlessly. The others of its kind had scurried away, hissing in terror.

When he looked back to the tree branch, his father had disappeared.

“Tarrlok, you okay?” she asked, her face flecked with light splatters of blood from the hunt. She had iced the carcass of the lizard, holding it in her arms as she whistled for Naga to come out.

“I’m…I’m alright,” he forced out but even as they returned to the camp, he found his eyes darting about the trees for any sign of his father’s apparition.

\---

The sight of the bending brothers and Asami huddled close to the fire, their eyes full of what looked to be trepidation was what met them when they returned to the camp. It was silent, and while Mako offered to cook the lizard for them all, no one had said a word.

The sounds of cicadas had disappeared into the night, and nothing was visible in the dark outside the glow and warmth that their campfire radiated. Korra turned to him in confusion, her mouth repeatedly opening and closing as if to say something that never came.

It was only when they had turned over for the night when he heard Bolin whisper something to Asami.

“Did you really see your mom?”

“I- Yeah. She was crying.” There was a pause, and Tarrlok could see Bolin shifting his sleeping bag closer to hers. Asami continued to speak, her voice so utterly quiet that Tarrlok strained to hear. “Did you see your mom?”

“Yeah, it was weird because I could hardly remember her, but that laugh she gave when she ran just then-” Bolin sighed shakily and Tarrlok found his eyes darting around, looking for something his restless gaze on. Bolin’s voice however, he continued to listen to. “I knew it was her. I just- I had to see if it really was her-”

So it wasn’t only him who had seen apparitions of the dead, then. When he turned to see Korra, hoping that she’d be awake to talk, he was met instead with her carefree face half-hidden in her polar bear-dog’s pelt as she slept.

He dreamt of his father that night, just his father, and he felt himself in his old skin, when he was still an eleven year old boy taking his father’s words as though they were knives that cut into him.

Amon, not Noatak, was there, but he just stood, watching impassively as the blood trickled from Tarrlok’s bare arms and staining the snow underneath him. Amon did not approach him to ease his pain, nor to wipe the tears from his young face. He merely stood behind as his father hurled more abuse at him.


	8. viii

When he jolted awake the next morning, Tarrlok reached for his spear as a crutch, as if to fend of the fleeting image of his father in his dream— only to find the narwhal horn spear gone from his side. His still sleep coated eyes darted madly about as he sat up, scanning the dark for any indication of where it might have gone.

The sleep immediately disappeared from him when he saw Korra and Naga gone from where they had slept last night. In the darkness he could make out the top of Mako’s leaf-covered head from his sleeping bag and he could see Asami and Bolin huddled close together, their fingers touching each other’s on the dark soil.

Yet the Avatar and her pet were nowhere to be seen.

His mouth tasted sour as he felt the instigation rise in him. Did he dare escape? To take one of the ostrich-horses and just go? None of them would be able to find him much later when they wake if he’d left now. His hand twitched on his lap while his mind lingered on it.

It wasn’t worth it. There would be no point; he’d only betray the hard-earned trust he’s gained from Korra and maybe even Bolin, all for a sad attempt at getting himself a second chance. He would be doing exactly what Yakone had done all those years ago.

So instead, Tarrlok waited for her to return. She was bound to, because he knows that she would not leave her friends or him unattended in this swamp. Yet a question that rose in his mind, as he readied himself for their trek deeper into the marsh, was why she would leave so early and take off with his spear?

 _Perhaps she liked hunting_ , he thought to himself, even more so than necessary? Maybe because of her deprived childhood? Did she have another nightmare maybe, and decided to cool down by hunting instead of setting fire to the swamp?

He didn’t let his mind linger on it because in the corner of his eyes he watched as Asami. She’d woken up sighing and he could only subtly watch as she stood up and headed for their pack of supplies. It was only when she’d tied her hair up and splashed her face with water when she noticed him awake and quietly chewing on their leftover eaglehawk-lizard. Her face flickered briefly from surprise before melding into an indifferent mask.

But she too noticed that Korra was gone. Before he can say anything about it, she cut him off. “Korra’s going to be happy to know that you’re still here.”

“I don’t think ‘happy’ is a right term for it.” His voice had taken a mocking sort of tone to it, and he found himself simply unmotivated to change it for the situation. It was only Sato after all who he talked to. She brushed it aside and made no remark.

“Relief?” she supplied as she stuffed her sleeping bag back into the pack. “I think she’ll be happy. You guys haven’t been pulling each other’s hairs out so I guess there’s a mutual feeling somewhere there.”

“Ah, well played, Miss Sato.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and settled herself on a gnarled root. It jutted from the swamp surface, covered in moss then she turned to the still dark sky. “But why are you still here? You could’ve left; you look like you’ve been awake for a while now.”

He looked away and turned instead to the dark expanse of trees surrounding them, trying to discern and movement from deep within. “There’s not much point in escaping. There really isn’t.”

When they were left with nothing but silence between them, Tarrlok decided to bring up what he heard her and Bolin talk about the night previous. “I understand that your mother’s been deceased for a while now. But I’ve heard you and Bolin speak about seeing her and his mother last night when I took the Avatar out on a hunt?”

Asami’s face took that startled look about it but she did not hide it as she would’ve earlier. Instead, Tarrlok watched as the event played in her mind, her surprise changing to fear along with it. “Yeah, you heard exactly what I meant. I saw her last night, and decided to check it out after we set up camp.”

“You said she was crying,” he continued and she could only nod her assent, albeit a little morosely. “Did she say anything else to you? Did she disappear the moment you looked away?”

“No, she I just heard her crying but when I went after her it was quiet, as though she never appeared here in the first place.” For a moment, she looked surprised. “How do you know?”

“Because I’ve seen Yakone the same way you and Bolin have.” The man’s name was like acid on his mouth and Tarrlok held himself though he wanted to spit it out of his mouth. Asami didn’t talk to him any further after that, but he knew, he saw in her eyes that she understood. That whatever this was that they shared, it was something mutual.

\----

When everyone had risen, Tarrlok found out that all of them had their fair share of apparitions. Mako had seen his father’s fleeting figure in the dark just as his brother sighted their mother in the distance. Yet they all waited for Korra to return even when the sun had already.

“She knows we’re wasting time, where is she?” Mako asked in irritation to no one in particular, but even he had to agree. He was living on borrowed time here, she understood that but where had she gone?

It had been well past noon, he thought, when she returned. He had half the mind to tell about how pointless this mission was to look for an already dead man but with the deathly expression on her face, even Bolin thought it’d be best not to say anything, thought it’d be best not to even ask how her hunt went. Yet Tarrlok clearly saw that the damage on his spear, which she still hadn’t returned, was neither from skinning nor puncturing an animal of any sort. The bark of a mangrove maybe. He could actually picture a mangled tree somewhere where she’d marked her territory.

The Korra that returned to them was not the same that led the trek the day before. Had she seen something? Perhaps an apparition? But who could she have lost? For she had both of her parents, she’d her friends, she was privileged. So who could she have seen? He shared an unspoken agreement with the others as they moved through the swamp, following the trail that Amon’s mask hopefully presented to them.

By nightfall, they silently set up camp for themselves as quickly as possible. Yet before any of them could even say a word to her, she had disappeared yet again with Tarrlok’s spear. He had to echo the profanities that Mako yelled into the swamp.

“What’s with her?” Bolin had to ask when they set up a campfire for themselves as the dark took over the swamp. “I’m scared guys. One, we’re seeing dead people. And I’ll be honest, I’m terrified, I want to get out of here. Two, Korra’s acting all funny we need to know why.”

“The fact that she’s iced over concerns me,” Mako voiced out. “It’s the biggest problem. But seeing mom and dad again is a whole other story.”

“We’ll talk to her when she comes back,” Asami asserted and they all agreed to it.

Except she didn’t come back, at least, not as early as they’d hoped. When she did, they’ve all grown fatigued from lack of sleep and food to even interrogate her. It seemed that she had as well, having returned empty handed. Even when they’d turned in, Tarrlok still had a slither of energy to let out a question he’s wanted to ask her ever since she’d gone back from her morning hunt.

“Did you have another vision?” He asked quietly, his eyes trained on the glowing embers of the campfire with his back to her. He figured that she listened nonetheless. “Is that why you left earlier?”

Her answer, and the lack of emotion in her voice surprised him. It was like that time he first asked her to be a part of his task force, except the poorly camouflaged fear was non-existent. “Maybe. I can’t remember anything, Tarrlok.”

This time he turned to face her, to see her face peeking behind her sleeping pet’s fur. Her eyes, along with her voice had iced over, and it reminded him so very painfully of Noatak’s borderline apathy. Before he could ask her if she was all right, she’d already turned over and disappeared from his view without even a good night.

He didn’t sleep, he couldn’t. That meant he had to withstand the grimace that his father’s apparition was giving him from the dark, which meant he had to sustain the words that his father’s ghost hissed at him even when he’d hid inside his sleeping bag.

Amidst his poor attempt at trying to avoid his Yakone’s mutterings while also avoiding sleep, he looked instead to Korra. When she’d gotten up, sonambulant as it was, Yakone had disappeared. He sat up and watched her go, this time abandoning his spear and her pet and slipping into the mangroves more inconspicuously than he thought her capable. Tarrlok glanced to the others’ sleeping figures and breathed, remembering Tenzin’s silent appeal a few days ago.

_Protect her._

Immediately, he slipped out of his sleeping bag and retrieved the spear and his machete as he squinted through the trees, trying to discern where she might have gone. His breathing eased when he managed a safe distance from her, not too close to rouse her from her automatic state, but not too far that he’d lose her in the dark. Tarrlok held his spear at the ready in case any predators searching for prey in the night.

Oddly enough they weren’t any. Perhaps because it was the Avatar sleepwalking that caused this, perhaps something greater than he could see but he didn’t focus on this, her safety was his priority. Naga had somehow woken up and silently joined him.

When Korra halted her walk, they all found themselves facing a massive tree that towered over them all, with its roots hanging down from its branches, sinking into the earth around the gigantic trunk. With the starlit sky backing the tree, he felt helpless even more helpless than he already was, he felt more vulnerable than he’d even been ever since his bending got taken away. Naga beside him had resorted to whimpering behind her furry paws and he could only bring his hand to her coat to calm her.

When he finally tore his gaze from the monstrous size of the tree, he found Korra sitting at the foot of it, her legs crossed and her body relaxed as if meditating. She surely was but that was the least of Tarrlok’s problems.

Not when Amon’s sleeping figure laid unmoving not far from them. Abandoning all subtlety, he rushed forward, feeling through the man’s, his brother’s clothes for a heartbeat. When he felt a faint beating underneath his hand, and he’d have cursed his brother for doing this to him, he still felt helpless. He could be healing the man with waterbending, but everything was gone from him.

When he brought his already teary eyes to the man’s face, he held back a sob. As expected, there were still traces of Yakone in his features, but Noatak was still there, the calm, the indifference. And really, it was like he was merely sleeping, not even the dirt that caked his cheeks and matted his hair could discount that. Tarrlok merely held on to him for what felt like an eternity, ignoring everything else around him, as though holding on to him now would factor in with the time they lost together as children.

When he looked up, Korra hovered above them, her hair whipping free in a wind that gathered around her and her eyes glowing brighter than the stars and the moon high above their heads. The air around them howled and Tarrlok felt his throat dry up at the sight of her looking down at them, as if a god to her creations. Even her going into the Avatar State rouses the unconscious Amon, and they both look up at her in fear.

He was terrified. How did he ever think that he could go up against her, that he can overpower her with his silver tongue and his bloodbending? She’s far from a half-baked Avatar now.

 _“Tarrlok and Noatak of the Northern Water Tribe,”_ she began, her voice, her tone indiscernible from the chorus of the other Avatars that spoke through her. He wanted to look away from the sight of her, the very being that took Yakone’s bending away from him, but he found himself staring up at her in reverence. A voice stood out from the rest, a man’s voice, kinder and meek- _“A son doesn’t have to bear the sins of their father. I’m sorry for my leniency, Tarrlok and Noatak.”_

It was Avatar Aang who spoke to them but never did he think that he’d ever meet the man. Only a vague image from his father’s stories stuck to his mind, of someone powerful enough to take his bending away while being a ‘coward’ as Yakone had put. Airbenders, though pacifiers were not cowards, Tenzin clearly was far from being one and Tarrlok had understood, after everything that’s happened. It was only after his bending had been stolen when he realised it. He brought his eyes up to stare at Korra, to see Aang who spoke through her. _“My leniency had caused the mess that Republic City is in, I only wish that I could go back to change it before it would end up like this. You and your brother wouldn’t have suffered everything that fate threw at you.”_

Go back to change it? Go back to kill Yakone before his legacy on him and Amon would continue? _“I am sorry for everything, I apologize to you both.”_

His eyes lowered to the ground, avoiding Amon’s still glazed over stare. Unsure of what to say, he held his silence. How was someone meant to react when the past Avatar apologizes for not killing their father when they had the chance? Perhaps none of this would have happened if he ran away with Noatak in that storm, the Equalists wouldn’t have happened, and perhaps both of them would’ve been great councilmen to the city.

When Korra landed back on the ground in an unceremonious heap, Tarrlok painfully untangled himself from Amon’s already unconscious state. There was so much to say but it could wait. They needed to return to the stilted town. Their mission had been completed. He positioned his brother on the polarbear-dog before sliding to rouse Korra awake.

“Tarrlok-” She looked up, startled to even see him so affected by things she wasn’t aware of. “Wait, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” He was far from fine. He helped her stand and they made a move to Naga who waited patiently for them both. “Come, get up. We must leave. We’ve finished the mission.”

“Wait, finished the mission?” Her eyes took in the sight of the passed out revolutionary on the polarbear-dog.

Before they could remark on anything else, a deep hiss echoed around them, the hiss of an animal, a snake, a massive one at that. They froze and struggled to follow a pale, almost ethereal snake slithering and skirting the trunks of the trees and the roots of the large one that jutted into the ground around them. When it halted, he could see its eyes, its _three, red eyes_ sizing them up. Yet its bloodlike markings that ran from its hood to the rest of its milky body were too familiar to be a mere coincidence, it was Amon’s mask embodied into a snake.  

When it reared back its head and barred its fangs, Tarrlok felt air in his lungs again and they ran towards Naga, his spear bound to his hand like a vice and Korra’s hand in the other.

He forgot about the snake. How the hell could he forget about the snake?

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Tarrlok forcibly tore his eyes away from the sight of the snake, of Zhenli She, charging at them, bringing smaller mangroves down to the swamp surface as it moved. When he and Korra found safety on Naga, the reigns were passed on to him. He could only flinch when the trees around them collapsed either by Korra’s doing or by the snake’s sheer force. He had to steer the polarbear-dog and keep his brother safe simultaneously and it proved quite difficult. Now he wished that he’d gotten some shut eye in the least bit earlier.

He listened to Korra’s grunts and breathless curses that followed the chunks of ice flying past them, and water splashing everywhere. He could tell that she was giving everything she had to deter this snake; throwing balls of fire at it that it only avoided, forcing large chunks of the earth that it swerved past, and bringing up walls of ice only for it to be broken on collision.

If he thought himself helpless earlier holding Amon’s weak form, the feeling of it now grew tenfold. He could be helping her against the snake, with the water all around them, even going as far to bloodbend it—

_“Shit, shit, shit,”_ he heard Korra grit out behind him forcing him to glance back and spot the snake right on top of them. He brought his hands right on the edge of Naga’s reigns and manoeuvred them on a sharp turn. Instead, its head charged at the water, forcing instead a massive splash, making their faces, their bodies soaked with swamp murk.

When he watched Korra get off Naga, taking his spear with her, he found himself yelling, demanding for her to get back, for her to return before the snake rose yet again. He couldn’t lose her, no, there was too much at stake. He made a move to grab her hand but she pushed him away instead. “Korra, what on earth-”

“Tarrlok! Go!” she screamed, forcing the muddy earth underneath Naga’s feet to life, to keep them moving. “Wake the others up, GET THEM OUT OF HERE!”

He’d laugh at the irony of her tasking him with getting her friends to safety when it’s her he only cared about. But he couldn’t argue, no, not when the snake shook free from its dazed state, not when Korra was charging at it on a waterspout, the spear covered in ice. He was running out time, Amon was running out of time.

Naga ran back, even without his command, leaving him to check up on Amon. When the man blinked his eyes, he looked tiredly up at Tarrlok in a daze. The last thing Tarrlok expected him to do was to crack a childlike smile but he did, a surprise. Being chased by swamp serpents made you act unusually, Tarrlok realised.

“Brother, you’re here,” he coughed out. “You’re really here-”

“Yes, Noatak, yes.” He swallowed back. Gone from his ears were the sound of Korra’s screams of fury, and instead were the steady splashes of Naga’s paws in the water. They were nearing the campsite, as he could see the ostrich-horses and the sleeping bags even in the abyssal dark. “I’m afraid our reunion’s cut a bit short for now, brother.”

He was glad that he didn’t have to yell to wake them up, Naga having done it for him. Mako jumped at the sound, punching flame that ignited some of the fallen leaves on contact. All of them sat up reasonably dazed and confused, and that was when Tarrlok took his cue to yell. And yell he did. “GET UP, ALL OF YOU! HURRY!”

“Hold on-” Bolin caught sight of the unconscious man slung on Naga’s saddle and the sleep visibly disappeared from his eyes. “Wait, wait, wait! Is that who I think it is?!”

“You found him,” Mako began, his incredulous expression slowly blooming on his sleep coated face. “Amon-”

“We don’t have time for this,” Tarrlok hissed as he moved off Naga. Shaking furiously, he stalked over to them and pushed them towards the jumpy ostrich-horses. He could see the mounts trembling and their eyes darting about, as if they anticipated a predator in the shadows. Of course, there was, and it was bound to attack and devour them if they didn’t move now. “GET ON YOUR MOUNTS NOW! WE HAVE TO RUN!”

“Where’s Korra?” Mako sputtered as he sprinted back to the anxious polarbear-dog. When they began to move, again, the firebender effortlessly tested his patience yet again; refusing to move when they clearly needed to. “WE CAN’T LEAVE WITHOUT KORRA!”

“WE HAVE TO-” Then they felt it.

They felt the air that they breathed dying in their lungs, they felt the earth underneath their feet, underneath the animals’ feet quake. Tarrlok forced them to move, forced Naga to roar at them when Korra’s shouts filled his ears. But even her screams failed to overwhelm Zhenli She’s hisses. Its deep hisses that seemed to have erupted from cracks from newly formed earth. The snake advanced with its fangs drawn, undeterred by the water, the ice, the earth and the fire that Korra threw at it.

Tarrlok could only see the mask that the snake wore, the blood-coloured markings that snaked its body, and the eye, the third eye, so perfect and round— and he felt Amon’s hand on his forehead, cold, and he felt the energy rising from him, his chi, his bending disappearing—

“TARRLOK, MOVE!” Korra’s scream broke through him. Snapping back to reality, he took the Naga’s reigns and forced her forward, ducking and securing a hold of Amon as the snake darted straight at them. Water splashed at his face and the polarbear-dog dove into the swamp, swiftly submerging them. He brought his hands to a vice like clasp on Amon’s nose and mouth, anything to keep the man from drowning. The man remained out cold despite everything.

When they resurfaced, the sight of the beast being assaulted and barraged by flame and mud overwhelmed him. He turned around to see Asami’s terrified eyes underneath her grimed face and matted hair when he felt her hand on his shoulder. Hardly an heiress anymore.

“Oh God, are you all right?!” There was no trace of the animosity she had for him in her face, only the distress and the need to survive whatever this situation was that they were in. She took his arm and they dragged themselves through the undergrowth, and Tarrlok took to carrying Amon on his back.

The sight of the polarbear-dog being thrown into the mud by a simple swipe of the tail made him flinch, and there were no denying Korra’s cries. “NAGA!”

His breaths were heavy as they muddled along the swamp, climbing onto larger roots for safety. Yet it seemed, even after all the snaking around the trees and branches that they did, the snake was determined to get Amon. Korra’s screams told him everything.

“NOTHING’S WORKING!” The sound of cracked ice and waves splashing, and tears. He and Asami could only watch in horror as the snake stared up at them, its three eyes leering at them, at him as its ghostly tale thrashed about the water.

Any of Mako and Korra’s efforts to singe its scaly skin proved to be futile, the murky water only putting out any flashes of fire along with making them more bogged down with water in their clothes. Even Bolin’s efforts to crush the snake with large slabs of earth were ineffective, as the snake only easily dodged his hits.

He found himself shaking furiously, inching away as the snake approached their tree. Both he and Asami shielded Amon behind them while they looked for a way out.

At the sight of Mako, a long way away from them, generating lightning between his fingers, he turned to Asami. “Shield your eyes, hurry!”

But even he couldn’t keep his eyes away from the sight of absolute light firing at his eyes, and the feeling of static gathering at his skin, making his hair stand on the end was incredible. Korra and Bolin leapt out of the water at the right moment, bringing their arms up to cover the electricity that crackled around Mako, the energy that shot up straight to the snake’s head. The deep hiss Zhenli She gave out was buried beneath the deafening crackle.

The beast lurched around violently. Then it was still. The stars in his eyes danced.

The silence blanketed them. But none of them breathed.

“Is it dead?” he heard Bolin whimper quietly. How he hoped, how they all did.

When he saw Mako give out the most humble breath, the firebender was immediately thrown into a tree mercilessly by the snake’s rogue tail.

“MAKO-” then Bolin, into the water. None of them rose. Asami began to sob quietly behind him. But no, it didn’t even attack Korra, didn’t even push a wave of water at her, blatantly ignored her even. It was Amon it chased after, perhaps even him judging by the amount of murder in its red eyes. It began to saunter over to them, as though it revelled in its victory, relishing Amon’s demise—

“Run, Asami, get to safety.” He didn’t even look at her but he knew that she did as she was told, even th rough her tears, her anxiety. She was spared as the snake didn’t even give her a second glance. It knew what it wanted, and he did too.

Before the snake could even bare its fangs and sink into them, the air stilled, as though it was frozen. Tarrlok knew what was coming.

The air gathered around her, around Korra, and the glow returned to her eyes. They were not as placating as they’d been earlier because in its place was rage. A storm, a hurricane. It was happening in the swamp, it was her. She was the storm, the Avatar. Her hair was loose as it flew about her, and she held her hands out in front of her, controlled as she brought a torrent of murky water at the snake, drowning it, as much as she could.

He tore his eyes from her and the snake briefly, turning back to his still unconscious brother, and setting a hand to his chest. A faint pulse, _thrum, thrum, thrum_ , underneath his fingers, something he would easily have felt if he still had his bending.

_“LEAVE US OR I WON’T THINK TWICE ABOUT ENDING YOU.”_ A threat, a well-meaning threat, but it wasn’t only Korra who spoke it. Turning back, he found himself watching the snake and the Avatar size each other up, Korra easily staring into the snake’s three eyes on a waterspout. Her eyes still had the glow, and her arms were encased in sharp blades of ice.

Out of all the things Tarrlok expected the snake to do, to hiss, to bite, to attack, the last thing he expected was a laugh. A deep human laugh erupted deep from the snake’s fanged jaws. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Asami holding onto Bolin and Mako for dear life, but her eyes remained on Korra and the snake.

_“Just because you think you can hold a spear and skin a lizard, doesn’t mean you can end me, Avatar,”_ Zhenli She taunted. Then its eyes landed on him and Amon on their tree. _“Anything that coward has taught you will not work on me, I will come for them, and once they’re finished you and your friends will be next. I’m saving you for last-”_

_“LEAVE!”_ Korra yelled, bringing a gust of wind and ice forceful enough to send the snake and its large body hurtling into a tree. Instead of retaliating, it slunk away, its pale body disappearing into the shadows. The glow in her eyes flickered briefly before paving away to her normal, blue, Water Tribe eyes.

There were tears. He could see the fatigue in them.

When she shakily lowered herself from the waterspout, she meandered to where Naga lay. He could see her shifting and laying her hands on her pet, water encasing her fingers.

“Please, please,” he heard her pitifully.

Tarrlok turned back to Amon behind him, and lowered him into the swamp floor, before following. He shuffled uneasily, painfully over to where Asami sat, cradling the boys’ heads in her lap. The silence, the grief seemed to have frozen on her grim face. But the brothers still breathed. Tarrlok was glad for it.

“Naga, good girl,” Korra whimpered, her voice muffled by the polarbear-dog’s fur. He and Asami turned to look at her, seeing the headstrong, fiery young woman diminished into a crushed girl, crying into her semi-conscious pet’s fur.

He remembered what the young General Iroh implored them to do a few days ago.

_“If you encounter trouble or anything, send a flare and we’ll get to you as swiftly as we possibly could.”_

Impossible at the moment, seeing as the firebender was currently incapacitated and the Avatar who might as well be. Patience was a virtue, he thought. It wasn’t as though the snake would think about attacking them again; him who held his brother helplessly in his arms, Asami who stroked the boys’ hairs free from their faces and Korra who cried into Naga, out of exhaustion, perhaps anxiety. But Tarrlok knew, he knew the cries of a tired child anywhere, after all he used to make them all those years ago.

 


	10. x

He remembered phasing in and out of waking and the dreamless abyss. He felt fatigue. He heard Asami’s distant sobs before she was taken away by the healers that Iroh had brought in. He remembered an old woman, a healer from the Swamp looking after him and giving him some herbs to calm his nerves. He wasn’t injured but he was in shock.

They all were.

The brothers had been in a critical condition but from piecing together what the aged healer had told him in his moments of waking, they all worked tirelessly to keep them alive. Korra even assisted them, but considering what she’d been through, she should have stayed in bed, should have rested.

_“You can’t tell me what to do. These are my friends, I have to help them. Deal with it.”_

He had to smile at that, he had to smile at her determination but it was pitiful. She’d been the one to endanger them in the first place, bringing them to the swamp. He was glad that Asami was left unharmed but there was a pattern.

Zhenli She went after benders. And no, it didn’t stop there. Amon must have gotten the idea with of the mask from somewhere and this three-eyed serpent was clearly it.

Tarrlok rubbed his face tiredly, staring at the light reflected off the swamp water that danced on the ceiling of his hut. He was left here, and it’s been a day now. Again, he wasn’t the main complication that they had. The Avatar’s wellbeing and sanity was perhaps the biggest issue, along with Amon’s capture. Bolin and Mako’s health was also of note.

Normally, he’d be content staying in bed until he felt better but that was a luxury he couldn’t afford anymore. He also knew that Amon, that _Noatak_ , was in the room across the hallway. That Korra was in there as well because he can hear them talking, in hushed voices like equals and not enemies. Sighing, Tarrlok got up and pushed the hair out of his eyes before padding across the creaky hallway, feeling the ancient timber dusting his bare feet. He looked out from his doorway to see the Avatar and Amon watching him wearily, with Korra seated at the foot of his brother’s bed.

Honest to the spirits, it was odd seeing two of his former enemies adopt something akin to an alliance.

“Hey Tarrlok, how’re you feeling?” Korra asked him as she waved him over to the room. He took a rickety chair from the far end of the room and set it next to the bed, facing them. “Not hungry or anything?”

“Other than my feeling as though I have buzzard-wasps flying around in my head I feel perfectly fine,” he deadpanned. His brother didn’t even take the effort to hide the smile that played at his lips, something Tarrlok didn’t realise he’d missed. Korra gave a small laugh before turning back to the bed-ridden revolutionary.

“I was telling Amon here—”

“Noatak,” Amon cut off. He seemed to breathe his name out heavily. “Please, Avatar, just call me Noatak.”

“Er, sorry. I was telling _Noatak_ what Iroh told me a few hours ago, about leaving for Republic City since he’s already been apprehended.”

“He does know that we can’t do that, doesn’t he?” Tarrlok asked, leaning forward and cracking his weary fingers. “That _thing_ won’t stop with you and me, Noatak. It will come after you and your friends, Korra. You have to know this.”

Noatak nodded, tiredly. The cold older brother who Tarrlok grew up with was gone. It was clear now. Why bother being cold or detached as he once was? His revolution was dead, his followers thought that he had abandoned them and his younger brother was right here, saying his name like a wish on his lips. His distance turned into fatigue. “I am willing to own up to my crimes, Avatar. Provided the serpent doesn’t kill us all first.”

The silence blanketed them but somehow Tarrlok was pleased. It was good that they can sit in silence, being the first step to trusting each other. Korra spared no accusing glances at his older brother, only a sort of curiosity that refused to be hidden from her fatigue. She knew of their history and she was bound to ask sooner or later.

“Can I ask you something, brother?” Tarrlok began, forcing both sets of Water Tribe eyes on him. “How was it that you came to this place when you were meant to be at the Victory Rally at Republic City?”

“It was the serpent that saw to me on the airship when we left from Air Temple Island,” Noatak huffed, as though recalling the memory itself was taking its toll on him. “Came to me in the form of a man, the likes of the Painted Lady from the Fire Nation.”

Tarrlok saw the Avatar nod in understanding, perhaps the knowledge from Master Katara’s tales resurfaced in her mind but he wouldn’t know really. How Tarrlok knew of the Painted Lady was from their mother’s bedtime stories. He remembered how when their father was away on a weekly fishing hunt before the bloodbending, their mother would settle herself between them, a warm wolf’s pelt blanket covering them and tell them tales of the World itself. Their mother knew more about Spirits and folklore than one would expect but it seemed that she never did see the truth of their father.

Perhaps she chose not to.

“The spirit spoke to me, spoke like me, spoke like Yakone. It spoke as though it embodied my greatest fears.” His brother’s weary tone raised itself to an erratic ramble, something so very unlike Amon or Noatak from the past. Tarrlok found himself clenching his fists on his lap as he listened to his brother’s very clear change from his altercation with the serpent. Korra glanced at him in pity before turning back to that fallen revolutionary. “And it spoke like you as well, Brother. Only I could see it. My brethren, my men on the ship were frozen in time while the serpent paced around me.

_“‘The spirits know what you are, Noatak,’_ it hissed at me. _‘They have reached a verdict, and you will never be pardoned from your crimes. Even Ozai has done more forgivable crimes than you.’”_ Noatak continued, his voice imitating the merciless drawl the snake possessed. _“‘I am your executioner, Bender. And unless you wish your men on this ship to die for your crimes, then I suggest you take my arm and we shall begin your sentence in a more fitting environment.’”_

As they sat in silence, Tarrlok found himself looking at this stranger. This was not his brother anymore, gone was that child in the snowstorm twenty-six years ago. Yet even this was not Amon, the revolutionary, the man who took his bending easily and many others along with it. However long he’d spent running from the spirit in the swamp, his mind had gone away from him, leaving his body feeble and full of regret, something Tarrlok could clearly see. Needless to say, he didn’t know how to feel about the gaunt-faced man who shared his and Yakone’s features. Though he was unsure if Korra could see what he saw.

“So you went?” he found himself asking flatly.

“I did, I couldn’t endanger them, not when we’ve come so far, not when we could almost taste the new order on our lips.” Noatak answered heavily, turning to stare at him with hollow eyes. His voice began to take that old tone of the most feared man of the Republic. “I believed that they would be able to do everything without me, even though I had so much planned. Republic City would be cleansed first, then the world but unfortunately, my time ran out. My judges came and they’ve reached a verdict, as the snake said.”

“You think the world was going to fall to you just like that?” Korra asked the man in disgust.

“The Republic didn’t pose much of a challenge, Avatar. You didn’t pose much of a threat-” Korra moved to jump him but Tarrlok grasped her arm instead. “I’ve raised my men to function without me. The energybending was merely an incentive, a threat, for any who opposed us. But judging by your presence in this swamp, I’m guessing my people have faltered?”

“The Equalists are gone, your Lieutenant’s in prison and we’ve reached a compromise,” Tarrlok breathed. Noatak’s eyes were on him for a moment, blank and unreadable before flickering to the light that danced on the ceiling.

“I guessed as much. But you, brother? Last I checked you were as much of a criminal as I was.”

It seemed that nothing further getting out of his brother, judging by the even breathing and the distance in the man’s eyes. He was looking through them, as though they weren’t with him in the room. Tarrlok sighed and moved from the bed, leaving the chair and fading atmosphere of the room behind.

He felt Korra’s tug of his sleeve and found himself facing her expression that read ‘can-I-talk-to-you-outside?’

As they left the room and quietly closed the door behind themselves, Tarrlok found himself really staring at the Avatar, taking her in after the battle. There were no bruises but the darkness of the circles underneath her eyes made up for it. Her hair that she kept into three ponytails was free and down in a tangled and clumpy mess.

It was as though she hadn’t slept for years. But then again, he knew that the others were the same. Asami would not sleep for fear of the serpent that would ensnare her in her nightmares. The brothers however have no choice, being induced by narcotics to maximise their recuperation. That he knew as much.

Korra settled herself on the dark dusty corridor with her elbows on her knees and her hands on her face.

“Man, it’s freaky talking to him like that,” she exhaled, brushing her shaky hands through her matted hair. “If I’m not scared of him taking my bending away then I’m scared of him making me feel like nothing just by listening to him talk.”

“I guess I’m living the nightmare then,” he mumbled and the horrified look on Korra’s face made him wish that he hadn’t said anything at all. Before she could sputter her profuse apologies at him, he waved away the idea and moved to braid what hair of hers was within reach, the way his mother taught him all those years ago. She sighed and took some of her own in clumps.

It was calming with just the two of them like this, in this comfortable silence. Never did he think in the past that he’d be able to get attached to her on this level. Not after her leaving that Task Force, not after city hall, not after the hostage, not after everything.

Perhaps she’d grown into her Avatar roots through this gradual process of forgiveness.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Korra asked him, shifting her head slightly so she could glance at him. “Amon- er, Noatak. Is he going to be all right?”

“You tell me, Korra. After all, you were the one who’s been having visions about his situation be before our arrival and his rescue.”

“Yeah, but you know him-”

“I think a man can change after twenty-six years, Avatar,” he snapped.

“I wouldn’t know anything about it, _Gramps,_ ” she sneered. No, they are not having this argument. No matter how trivial and _about-his-age_ it was.

“We’re not going to talk about this, Korra,” he grit out. “Thirty-seven is not old-”

“Then tell me! Do you think he’ll be all right?” She’d finally spun around to face him. Her lips had thinned to a line and her eyes were clouded with fatigue and fear and sadness for anything and everything that happened over the past few days. She needed to sleep, that much was clear.

He stood up and took her by the arm, gently, much to her feeble protests. When his bare feet made contact with the damp, mossy swamp ground, he could have sworn that they sung. They padded through the stilted town towards where Korra and Asami were staying, not far from the ship or his hut.

“You need to go to bed, Korra.” He felt like Tenzin talking like this but he knew better. The last thing the world needed was a sleep deprived Avatar. “I promise we’ll talk more when both of us make sense in the morning.”

“Okay, okay, fine-” She waved him off as they walked up the meagre porch of gritty bamboo and mangrove. She was annoyed but she was also tired. There wouldn’t be any argument from her anytime soon and Tarrlok could only express his relief. “Just answer me one thing, just one question. Yes or no, Tarrlok.”

“What is it?”

“Do you believe that Noatak will get better?”

Silence, for he remained silent. Silence meant that he believed otherwise, silence meant that he believed the worst. That he was being a pessimist, a cynic. That he’d already lost hope when it came to Noatak. The gleam in Korra’s eyes began to fade and as did the optimism. But no, there needed to be a balance with this, if Korra, if the Avatar turned cynical, who knew how quickly the world would follow?

“Yes, he will. I’ll make sure of it, Korra.”

The exhale of relief and restored optimism and sleep was all he needed.


End file.
